Do you sometimes find yourself thinking, I'd be happier if only I had... (fill in the blank: straight hair, a boyfriend, more money, cooler parents, a belly button ring, etc.)? It's normal to have dreams. But you can be happier now, with what you've already got. Here's how.
The first trick is realizing that happiness is not something you should have to wait for. Yes, getting a new car or being discovered by a pro team scout would make you feel great. But that's not what real happiness is all about. Being a happy person really means being satisfied with who you are, where you are, and where you're going.
Happiness is not about anybody else but you. It requires no one else's approval or permission. In fact, when you think about it, your own happiness is one of the few things you have complete control over!
Life isn't always perfect, but some people seem to be happy about life anyway. That's because they've discovered a secret. They know that even if they can't control what the universe throws their way, they CAN control how they react to it.
Do you need a boyfriend to be happy? No you don't - but you wouldn't know that from what the movies and TV shows tell us, and what people go around saying. Having a guy in your life is not a surefire recipe for happiness! Of course, it's lovely to have someone who thinks you're special and likes to spend time with you. But if you're looking for a guy to fill an empty spot in your heart, you will end up disappointed. No guy has the power to make you feel happy all the time. (In fact, a boyfriend can sometimes cause you lots of stress). You need to be happy with yourself, in order to be happy with someone else. Once you achieve self-love, a boyfriend is just the icing on the cake.
If you're not happy with your life, now is a great time to look at the reasons why. (Forget blaming it on being single, because we already covered that!) Why are you unhappy? Are you lonely? Disappointed? Scared? Feel rejected? Unworthy? Angry? Guilty? Regretful? Take an honest look at what you're really feeling. Once you figure out what's really getting you down, you can work on fixing it... in other words, you can become happier.
The single-most important thing you can do to become a happier person, is to find peace with yourself. If your opinion of yourself is healthy, you will be better prepared to face whatever challenges the world throws at you.
If you have low self-esteem, start by recognizing that you can't keep looking to other people to make you feel worthy or lovable. You must get to a place where you like yourself, by yourself. (Only then will you be ready to give love to someone else, like a boyfriend). If you rely on a guy, or a parent, or a coach (etc.) for your self image, you're putting a lot of power into the hands of another person.
Everybody needs a confidence boost sometimes. When you're not feeling great about yourself, boost your self-image with these tips.
When you need to boost your self confidence, find things that make you feel good. These could be a piece of music, a souvenir that reminds you of happy memories, a photo of someone you love, cuddling your cat, etc. Focus on staying in the moment and enjoying the happy feelings as long as you can, without letting negative thoughts drift in.
Self consciousness is the enemy of happiness. Learn how to keep your attention off yourself. When you start to feel anxious, distract yourself from obsessing about what's wrong with you, by putting your focus on something - anything - else. Focus on making another person feel comfortable by asking them questions about themselves. Or if there's nobody around to talk to, just focus on a piece of furniture and study its details. It's harder to get nervous about yourself if your attention is occupied elsewhere.
Also remember, confident-looking people have bad moments too. Don't let them get you down. Just because you feel under-confident, doesn't mean other people can tell. Focus on putting forth a confident attitude, and others will believe it. Soon hopefully, so will you!
If you notice that you're saying things to yourself like "You're no good at anything" then rest assured, you're wrong. Everyone can compose a sentence, get successfully to the store, eat without choking. Don't let yourself make sweeping statements about yourself - in the long run it is this sort of thing that can really damage your self image.
Building self esteem is not just about thinking good of yourself, it's about not thinking bad for no reason! Just because you have felt bad about yourself in the past doesn't mean you're always going to feel that way. So many people surprise themselves once they have learned how to build self confidence in a way that it stays built!
Learn how to develop your self confidence by following the tips in this article, and notice the small differences as they happen. Keep at it and don't expect everything at once. Beating low self esteem is a wonderful thing, and you have the power to do it for yourself!