Anger is the emotion that seems to get people into the most trouble with teachers, parents, family, friends and sometimes even the police. If you've ever seen somebody really lose their temper, you know that it's a scary thing to watch or experience. It can be embarrassing too... temper tantrums are only for young children, and seeing a friend or adult "losing it" can make you cringe.
A little bit of anger is okay. It warns us that something is wrong and needs to be taken care of. Anger often arises from a sense of injustice - a feeling that something is very unfair. It can be a great motivator for the good as long as the person who gets angry does not lose control. For example, you might get angry from hearing a racist joke and calmly explain to the person why it is offensive to you. This can make them reflect on their behavior and change - a very good thing.
Then again, sometimes anger is bad and destructive. We can all think of lots of examples of bad anger, such as a driver getting upset and driving recklessly and dangerouly; an angry parents screaming at their little child; or a friend getting upset with you and spreading your deepest secrets all over the school.
Anger occurs when frustration is high. We all live in a frustrating world, and we all need to learn how to control or direct the frustration, before it turns into destructive anger. When you feel yourself becoming too angry, and on the brink of acting on your anger, try the following tips:
Silently count to ten. This will at least delay your action for ten seconds, and hopefully it will give you enough time to get yourself under control.
Think about the fear or frustration that caused the other person to act in a way that upset you.
Try to feel empathy for the person rather than anger. Sometimes compassion calms hostility. If you can't relate to them, think about how pathetic they are for acting that way. Feel sorry for them for being such an idiot, rather than erupting in anger.
If you or someone (or something) you care about is being treated unfairly, try to offer a solution that makes the situation more fair. Use diplomacy to make the situation better, instead of letting your anger make things worse.
Sometimes simply walking away is a great alternative to acting out your anger. That takes a lot of poise and maturity - and it shows others that you have a lot of poise and maturity, too.