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Dear Jellybean,
Ever since 6th grade, I've become really really self conscious. Over the summer of 7th grade, I heard all these things this girl and her friends had been saying about me. Like how "I thought I was just so cool" and "How Ithinks I'm to good for any of this." I had no idea where these things came from, I had never EVER been mean to those girls. Well turns out that they are going to my high school next year. Ever since I heard what they said I've become really quiet and shy around not just those girls and all of their friends, but everywhere. I am afraid of doing something wrong and they will talk about me. I am absolutely misrable because my best friend is moving and I don't really have any other friends because I am scared of being myself in school when the girls are around. Please, please help me jellybean, I do not want high school to be a bad experience. I need help with my self esteem, I feel like I wont be able to make any friends in fear of being talked about. What can I do?
-Sad and Scared
Dear Sad and Scared,
I get that being talked about can feel really bad. The truth is, everyone gets talked about sometimes. Humans are just natural gossips, and though it's a bad habit, there are very few of us who can say we've never done it.
I know that you feel intimidated by these girls, but you have to understand that they do not rule the school you're going to. They're going to be new kids, just like you, and you all start the year on an equal footing. The new year is your chance to make a good impression on everyone else you meet - so don't miss the opportunity by hiding in your shell!
Make a big effort to get out there and be friendly, make friends, join clubs and teams at your new school, and generally be outgoing and get involved in school life. Those girls who seem so big to you now, might seems like just about nothing when you're at your big new school, and nobody knows them, or cares what you think.
So instead of focusing on what could go wrong, make a game-plan for making things go right for yourself, and follow it to a T. When we act out of fear, we sometimes make what we fear come true. Act from hope, and confidence, and you can pave a great path for yourself. Good luck!
