Myjellybean.com

Dear Jellybean,

My boyfriend have been dating for 6 months, and we love to be together. We usually hang out at his house, and we like to lay on the grass together ,his arm usually around my shoulders or waist. Well, one day when we were doing this, his mom peeked outside and saw us.

I didn't think it was a big deal, but when he went inside to get something to drink, his parents jumped all over him, saying what we were doing looked "inapproriate" and that "Kaydee could get pregnant at her age" and a bunch of stuff like that. His parents have always been kinda protective of him. One example: Me and him and 2 other couples went on a group date to the movies. Instead of his parents just dropping him off at the theater, they cam and watched the movie with us. Not a fun date experience. But now it's worse. We can't kiss or anything. He won't even hold my hand cause his parents are always peeking out the door. We're going to a movie next weekend, and my parents won't just drop us off unless his parents say it's ok. I really want to be alone with him, but I'm afraid his parents will say it's not ok for us to be dropped off. What can I do?

-Annoyed and Confused

Dear Annoyed and Confused,

Wow, his parents sure over-reacted. I guess they didn't get the bulletin that lying in the grass together does not cause pregnancy, lol. Obviously they're imagining that lying down together will lead to lying on top of each other, etc. and their imaginations got carried away.

So you're dating a guy with super-protective parents. That is definitely a drag, and you will have to be very patient for a while. The truth is, there is no quick-fix to this situation. You are going to have to decide whether you are up for a long campaign of building trust, or whether it's all too much of a hassle, and you'd rather things be easier.

If you think this relationship has a future and is worth some extra effort, your goal for the next little while is going to be gaining his parents trust. Spend time with them, don't act like you're trying to sneak off with their son to another room when you're over at his place, and give the impression that family time is just swell with you.

Let them get to see what kind of person you are - smart, mature, trustworthy - by talking to them when you're over. Don't just treat them like annoying statues in the room - engage them in conversation. I know you'd rather spend all your quality time with your boyfriend, but you have to convince his parents that you're not the type of girl they fear you are - and that is going to take some time.

Your boyfriend can help too. Ask him to tell his parents about what kind of person you are. If they know that part of the reason he likes you is that you have good morals and are different from other girls, they will start seeing you in a different light. You don't have to be a saint or an angel in your private time, when you and your boyfriend can do whatever you both want to, but as far as his parents are concerned - you basically need to wear a halo.