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Dear Jellybean,
My little sister has been having a lot of issue lately and I am worried for her. She recently told me that she had sex with her boyfriend (of six months) and she said it wasn't planned, although they had a condom. This is her first boyfriend and I don't think she is that experienced and mature enough to understand the consequences of these actions she has been taking. She says that they are in love... and she doesn't see anything wrong with doing it with someone you love... she's not on the pill.. so i have no idea it she is pregnant or not.. She also mentioned that they don't really consider it their "first time" together.. even though they went the whole way... also Lately she has been getting into a lot of other things, like her friends have been drinking and smoking... she has also been messing with her boyfriend, like I mentioned before... but its more then just sex... she has told me these things but she hasn't told or talked to our mother. I am extremely worried about her and the fact that she had me promise not to tell its killing... it is eating me up inside. I don't want my sister to ruin her life and make the wrong choice. I just don't know what to do... should break my promise and just tell, even if she hates me forever? or should I let her make her own decisions... even if they are not practical...
Dear Writer,
Your sister is making her own choices. They sound like pretty bad ones - but they are hers.
You also have the right to make your own choices, and this includes following your conscience. It is not about "letting" your sister do anything - as her sister, you are not in the position to give (or not give) her your permission to do things. It's about doing what you feel is right, even if that's not what your sister believes.
If you feel like you are watching your sister head down a dangerous path, and it is "killing you" to not say something to your parents, then I think your route is clear. Follow your instincts, talk to your parents, and alert them to the fact that one of their kids is messing up.
She might be mad at you for a while, but she is your sister - she won't hate you forever. At worst, you guys will have some strain on your relationship, but it will get better in time. At best, you will save her from throwing her life away (because of an unplanned pregnancy, or getting cancer from smoking), and she will someday thank you for it.
