Myjellybean.com

Dear Jellybean,

I'm so mad at the moment its ridiculous. My baby sister is so PERFECT so she acts like a little brat. She has good grades, she takes honor classes, she has the bf on the football team, she's pretty, (not that i am ugly), and she steals my friends. my friends make plans with me, but Lil sis says something different and they like that better. than once they propose that we all hang out, lil sis gets me in trouble at home so its not possible. than rubs it in my face! we have one friend a church, V, and i had made plans with her to hang out with her at the fair. So we were like,'cool' so cant wait, and we've been waiting for WEEKS now to hang out...than at the last minute lil sis decides...'who am i gonna hang out with?' and CHANGES MY PLANS!!! Her locker is right next to mine, her room is next to mine, and she steals my friends. i dont even want to be her sister...all she does is lie, steal and weeve her way into peoples lives. She's trying to be like me..but its not my fault! I told her one day, cuz she was upset and lonely, and being a good big sister that i am..tells her hey why dont you hang with us. and that was only ONE time..now she wont leave my friends alone. its ridiculous! i want to get the heck out of here, but i'm afraid she may follow me! and if she does....oh dear. thats another story..so what do i do? she wont leave me be! as well, she tells my friends rude comments about me, like i say rumors about them and i dont! i love my friends to death, and my sister wants to take everything from me! she already won my parents' hearts, what am i to do if she takes my friends? i'll have no one.

-Be Gone Sister Dear, Be Gone!

Dear Be Gone,

Yikes, that's some serious sibling rivalry you have going on there. Since making your sister disappear isn't a realistic option, you'll have to take a different approach.

I think you should talk to your parents (or just your mom, whatever you think) about this. Tell them you think your little sister really needs some friends of your own, because she keeps hanging around with yours. Say (even if you don't really mean it) that you love her completely and like spending time with her, but that you think it might be more healthy if you two had some time apart too, with your own groups of friends.

You could suggest to your folks that they get your sister involved in more outside-of-school activities, which will do a couple of things for you - including getting her out of your hair sometimes, and giving her the chance to meet new people who she can start hanging out with, instead of glomming onto your friends.

You can also deal with your sister directly. Just choose your battles, so you're not fighting 24/7. For instance, if you learn that your sister is telling your friends bad things about you, that's worth confronting. Get her alone, tell her you heard what she said, and ask her why she'd say something untrue about you, her sister who she's supposed to love. Explain that you're trying to be nice, but if she goes around spreading lies about you, you're going to find it very hard to treat her nicely or with respect.

You might also try setting some boundaries for your sister, such as telling her it's okay if she hangs with your friends sometimes, but not all the time. Talk to her about how it feels to have your friends overtaken by her, and ask her why she's not hanging out more with her football player BF and his friends.

Try to keep the conversation friendly, and don't get into a screaming match over it. I know it seems like a massive pain, but trust me, the work you put into getting along with your sister now - and setting out some rules for your relationship - will pay off tenfold when you get older. Good luck!