| Article Index |
|---|
| Parents Pushing Her To Date |
| Read the Advice |
| All Pages |
Dear Jellybean,
I used to go to a really small school, with the same 20 kids in my class since kindergarden. For my freshman year I was homeschooled so I could figure skate. That didn't work out so I am now going to regular highschool, and am a sophomore. I've never had a boyfriend or been kissed or been on a date or anything that involoves boys romantically. I am 100 percent ok with this and have no problem with this situation not changing in the near or not so near future. My parents on the other hand, have a bit of a problem with this. They think that now that I'm around boys I should be going on dates and have boys calling the house and chasing me down. My mom even thinks that because this is not happening I'm a lesbian! I have nothing against homosexuals but my parents are both traditional catholics and I know they would have a problem if I was a lesbian, which I'm not. I've never liked a boy enough to bother asking them out and boys don't ask me out either. I have plenty of friends who are guys though. I can't understand why my parents think this is such a problem, and I don't know how to confront them about it. I'd really appreciate it if you could help me understand where their coming from and how to confront them.
-Don't need a man
Dear DNAM,
You have the opposite problem of many girls who write to me, complaining that their parents don't want to let them date. I think your parents need a reality check about how lucky they are, not to be dealing yet with all the issues that could be involved with you dating.
You might want to mention to your parents that you appreciate their interest in your love life, but that dating these days is not what it used to be when they were young. Maybe they need to hear that some guys expect major physical activity after just one or two dates, and that more than one girl at your school (I'm just guessing) has gotten pregnant, had an STD, or otherwise had their life sidetracked in a major way, because of bad dating choices.
Have a chat with your folks. Ask them to sit down with you when they've both got time for it, and tell them that you get enough pressure from friends at school, so it's really hard to feel it at home too. Let them know you want to wait until you meet someone really special before you start all this dating business, because you've seen what a toll and distraction it can be from your friends, and ask your parents to support you in this (very mature, I have to add) decision.
PS - if your parents are really worried about the lesbian issue, put their minds at rest by telling them there is a big difference between not wanting to date guys, and wanting to date girls.
