Myjellybean.com

Dear Jellybean,

I have a huge problem. I have a stepbrother who's the basically the same age as me. About a year & a half ago, he moved in with my stepdad, mom & I (he was living with his mom in Europe) and ever since...everything's been bad. He does stuff to annoy me, he's really inconsiderate & he's mean to me at school, but nice at home. My mom's fed up with everything as well, because he does stuff like UNLOCKING doors before he leaves the house, so when my mom or I comes home, there's a door unlocked (although we live in a safe area it's still annoying). I've told my mom how annoyed I am with all of this, she is too, but the problem is... his dad is a extreme push over. He's also really rude, he says mean stuff like when we play video games together he'll be like "you know im better then you so you should just stop playing now" & stuff like "you know, you suck at soccer, im so much better then you." He acts like that [sort of] to other people, and yet...he has more friends then I do.

Lately, he hasn't left at all, he always used to go to his moms house, but he doesn't anymore & its annoying because he's always in our basement (where our computer and tv are) and if you ask him to leave he wont. When I start highschool I'm moving to a different school then him, but I'll still have to deal with him at home. Any advice would be appreiacted. Thanks.

-kbree

Dear kbree,

I think you're trying to deal with this issue in a mature way, but it's going to be tough going alone. Why is it that when one person in a household is annoying, everyone else seems to work around them and get inconvenienced by it, instead of everyone demanding that the annoying person changes?

What I'm saying is, this is fairly typical, but you don't have to deal with it alone. I get that your step-dad is a pushover, but maybe he doesn't realize how his kid's behavior is affecting his new family. Talk to your mom about this again, and tell her that you want to get along in the new arrangement, but your step-brother's actions are making it very difficult for you do this. Then ask her if together, you can hold a "family meeting", with everyone present, where you can talk out your issues.

Since your mom has been annoyed by your step-brother too, hopefully she'll be interested in this. It might even give her an excuse to bring up issues with your step-dad, in the guise of acting on your behalf, that otherwise she might not. When you do all talk together, be sure to keep repeating the statement that you just "want everyone to get along" and that's why you want everyone to talk. When your step-dad hears how his son has been acting, and hears how it has been affecting you and your mom, hopefully that will "push" him over to your side, and you guys can set up some new ground rules for the house. Good luck with it.