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Dear Jellybean,
I have a problem. My best friend went out with this guy and he broke up with her 2 weeks later. She is obsessed with him. She ended up
going to a different school and in the middle of the year he asked me out. I knew he didnt like her anymore and i thought she was over him. I had always kinda liked this guy so i went out with him. We ended up breaking up but before that... we kissed.
It was my first kiss and then about 8 months after we broke up my friend found out that i had my first kiss. I wasnt going to tell her that it was her ex that i kissed cause she was upset i went out with him in the first place. She keeps bugging me about it and im not sure if i should tell her cause i dont want to cause her anymore pain cause she is "in love" with him.
Should i tell her?
-Care too much about other people
Dear Care too much,
This is like a textbook case of why you should never date a friend's ex: Because she might still like him (even if she swears she doesn't), and it can end up ruining your friendship.
Your letter's signature doesn't ring true to me. You didn't "care too much" about your friend, to consider how she might feel if you dated and kissed her ex-boyfriend. Even if they only dated for 2 weeks, he's still her ex, and you broke a pretty important "girl rule" when you said yes to going out with him.
So should you tell her? No, you should not. Your friend doesn't need to be hurt any more. You did something wrong, and now you should live with the consequences of your actions. Learn from it (in other words, don't date any of her future exes), tell her she doesn't know the guy you kissed (say it was some random guy, or name someone who's moved away, whatever works), and do your best to be a better friend from now on.
