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Dear Jellybean,
Lately i've been noticing that my friend has been copying me a lot. Its really obvious even some of my other friends have noticed. At first i was some what flattered it made me feel good that someone looked up to me, however it is now getting really annoying. I dont really want my friend acting like me or trying to dress the same way. I dont want to be rude. i really like my friend but i want to be an individual i dont want my friend and i to look like twins. please help... thank you.
-Allie
Dear Allie,
Imitation is flattery... but it's also quite annoying. If you want things to change, you are re going to have to confront your friend about her behavior. Breaking the news to your friend will be difficult, but if you don't say anything, she might not realize that you have a problem with her. Here is my advice for how to talk to your friend, without making her feel (too) bad.
Start by letting your friend know that you've noticed she copies your style. Believe it or not, she may not even realize she's doing it! Or she might feel that you have good style and it's a free world, so she can copy it. You will want to explain to your friend that your style is how you express yourself to the world, and she's stepping on your toes by trying to be the same. Tell her that people are known for their styles, and you want to be individual. You could point out that some people at school might even think less of her style, because she is an obvious "twin" of you.
Of course, you should say all of this as nicely as possible! Whatever words you come up with to explain your feelings to your friend, be sure to be careful about not making her feel stupid. You don't want to hurt her feelings, but you want to make sure she understands you.
Let your friend know that you think she is a great person, and she should express her unique personality with a unique style. Offer to go shopping with her - JUST for her, not for you - and help her pick outfits that express her inner self. She might copy you because she doesn't know how to put outfits together, so if you show her some tricks, she could be more likely to start doing her own thing.
If you try all of this and she still won't stop copying you, it's time for last resorts. Maybe you could get her to imitate someone else - such as a celebrity she admires. Look at photos of her favorite singers or actresses and get her interested in copying THEIR style! Just don't encourage her to copy another one of your friends, or you'll both be in trouble with that person.
