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Dear Jellybean,
I feel really lonely. I lost 2 best friends, and it is not that I need them specifically back, but I need someone else to take their place. They weren't the kind of friends I would call "besties" anymore because of how they ended up treating me. I can't seem to find someone wacky but with good judgement and also nice to fill in the place of my ex-best friend, Taylor. And I have someone who took the other one's place, but I need more than just 3 bffs. My 3rd bff lives an hour away (I don't see her often or have a lot of contact with her), and the other two are all I have. I have other friends, but they are not close enough to me to where I can share secrets or tell them anything important, or even invite them over. I am homeschooled, so it is hard to make friends and meet guys (I would totally choose public school over homeschool...the teachers don't scream at you there or threaten to not let you go to dance). I may go back next year, but how do I survive my life this year? I get teased by my four siblings, screamed at during school by my mom, and pushed around by my older brother(he calls me a retard all the time).
Thx for reading my long letter!
Besties Needed
Dear Besties Needed,
It sounds to me what you need is not more friends (an issue of quantity), but better friendships (which is about quality). You could have 10 so-called BFFs - but if none of them were people you could share secrets with or tell about important things, you would still feel lonely.
Being homeschooled, you need lots of social opportunities in your life, or you could get stuck feeling isolated all year long. My suggestion to you is, do some research about classes and activities in your community, that are offered on weekends or after-school. Learn what's offered by your local community center by visiting their website or phoning them. You can also look in the newspaper and locally published magazines for family activity information.
Ask your mom if you can sign up for some courses - anything from ballet, to drama, creative writing, music, dance, etc. - in the time that you're not in school. If your mom has an issue with the cost of these courses, offer to do more chores around the house, take care of the lawn, do babysitting, or even get a part-time job if you're old enough to do so.
Taking classes will be a great way to meet people in the "outside world". Chances are, too, that if you choose activities you genuinely are interested in, you will end up meeting people who you have stuff in common with - at least the interest that made you sign up for the class. With any luck, you will bond with one of two of these people, and end up making new friends.
My other suggestion for you is, think about how you could deepen the friendships you have already. Are these people who you can see becoming better friends, if you put more effort into it? Take a chance and invite one over to your house - even if it seems like you're not close enough. Sometimes you have to do something different, to get a different result.
Work on getting closer to the "BFFs" you already have, and you will not only gain better friends, but you'll learn skills that help you get closer to new contacts too. Becoming better friends has a lot to do with being a better friend yourself.
Good luck to you - I hope that this year is the one that you make new, true, great friends.
