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Dear Chelsey,
Your friend is in the love haze - that period of time when you first fall for someone, and get all wrapped up in being with them and only them. A year is a long time to be in the haze, but it's not completely abnormal. Of course, as her friend, this feels annoying and strange, because nobody likes to feel like they are disposable, or were just filling in until a boyfriend came along. But it's not that unusual, really. And at least you can't take it too personally - your friend is ditching all her old friends, not just you.
In any case, you two were very close once, so it's worth a shot at trying to bring that back. I think you've tried talking to her about your feelings has backfired, because she's defensive about her actions. So I'm going to suggest another approach.
First, call up your friend and invite her AND the boyfriend to a girl-guy get-together. Gather a few friends for a coed venture - to the movies, to a party, or just to hang out and watch holiday movies at your place. Make it clear that there will be other guys there for your friend's boyfriend to talk to, and play up what will be really fun about it. Hopefully, once she realizes you're not against her guy, and are making an effort to include him in your plans, she'll decide to show up.
Don't get worried yet - I'm not suggesting you have to invite your friend's boyfriend along every time, to get her to hang with you. It's just that doing so once or twice might soften her toward you, and make her realize you're on her side, and accepting of her new guy's place in her life.
The other thing you can do - either before or after inviting those two out as a couple - is to let your friend know that you miss her, and want her back in your life more. The trick here is, you have to do it without complaining about how she's been unavailable, or anything else that might seem like an "accusation" to her. Just say something like, "I know you're pretty busy with your boyfriend lately, but I'm kind of missing my best buddy. Can we make time to hang out?" Then suggest a specific time and an activity so it doesn't stay vague. Good luck - I hope you two find your friendship again.
