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Dear Alexa,
You've tried ignoring her, and you've tried giving hints, and that didn't work. Now there's only one option left to you, if you believe that this friendship is not worth saving: You have to "break up" with your friend.
People think of a break-up as something that's only done in romantic relationships, but it happens in friendships too. Sometimes, for whatever reasons, you need to tell a friend "it's just not working for me" and end the relationship. By the time most girls become adults, they will have dumped at least one friend. It's worth learning how to do it kindly, and properly, to avoid leaving behind bitter feelings or extending your friend's confusion about where your heart lies.
Before you do the breaking up, prepare yourself for what you're going to do. Think about what you want to say, why you're doing it, how you'll deliver the news (over the phone, by email, or in person), and how you'll handle it if your friend starts crying or reacts in some other, unexpected way.
You could call your friend, but it may be easiest for you to do the deed in a letter (either email or the old-fashioned kind). Keep it short and sweet - this is not the time for true confessions, or to explain what's wrong with your friend that is making you want to stop being her friend. Just say something nice about her ("I think you're a good person"), acknowledge that you were friends in the past ("we've shared some good times together"), and then make it clear that you'd like the friendship to end now ("I don't want to be friends anymore").
If you have an idea why you want to "break up" with her, you can give her a simple reason or two ("I feel like we've grown apart" or "I don't feel like our friendship is working anymore"). Do try your best to avoid blaming her, or giving examples that she could argue with you about. The point is to be kind but firm, so there's no room for debate, if your mind is made up to end the friendship.
Realize that you may feel sad, guilty, or relieved - or all three - when you break up with your friend. Even though you want the friendship to be over, you're still saying goodbye to someone, and that's not exactly a cause for celebration. It may bring up surprising feelings in you. Just be sure it's what you want before starting, and then move through the steps as quickly - and with as much compassion - as you can.
As for keeping friendly ties with her family, it may not be possible. Their first loyalty is to your friend, so they may be angry with you, or stop liking you (as much, or at all) after you dump their family member. That's what happens in break-ups, sometimes, and it's just something every breaker-upper has to live with.
