Myjellybean.com

Dear Jellybean,

Hello, my name is Malarie and i have a bit of a situation. My friend Holly and I fight alot and we've been doing that lately. Then, one day, i decided enough is enough and ended my friendship with Holly. A few weeks later, none of my friends are talking to me except my friend Livy. While i was at Figure skating practice i saw one of my former friends, Haylee. I approached her and said "Haylee, whats been going on lately? None of my friends, including you, is talking to me exccept Livy?". So, Haylee said, "Well, ever since you and Holly ended your friendship, Holly been mad at you. So, she decided to get all of your friends, including me, and told them to form an 'I hate Malarie Larin' club. We asked her why and she started making up lies about you like 'Oh, Malarie had sex with her ex-boyfriend and she and Livy make out w/ each other when no one's looking' and we beleived her. So, we joined the club and stopped talking to you". When i heard this, i was sooooooooooo shocked. So i walked away from her and told my mom to drive me home. Once i got home, i cried for 3 hours. And now, Holly's 'I hate Malarie Larin' club has been growing. She's been turning my sisters and cousins and friends and the WHOLE school against me except for my friend Livy. I've tried telling my parents but they wont listen to me and neither will my teachers! Please make the madness stop, cause i know you're one person who will never turn against me.

With love,

Malarie

Dear Malarie,

I'm terribly sorry to hear about this. People are acting incredibly badly, and they probably don't even understand how much they're hurting you, or how much stress they're putting you under. I'm also sorry that your parents and teachers aren't taking this seriously, because they should be. This is a lot for a kid to cope with by themselves - and it's the kind of situation that can lead to depressed feelings, an outcast attitude, and have long-term damage to self-esteem.

I strongly suggest that you print your letter to me, along with my answer, and show it to your parents. Explain that, while they might think this is just a "kids' thing" or a little "fight between friends" that is going to blow over, it is making your day-to-day life a living nightmare right now, and is probably affecting your desire to attend school, try with your schoolwork, and so could be affecting your very future.

You aren't guaranteed popularity at school, but it should at least be a place where you can go to learn, without being harrassed and decimated by evil rumors. Your school has an obligation to maintain a safe space for you, and to me, this also includes freedom from emotional harrassment and cruelty. Your school may have an anti-bullying policy that you could take advantage of, but it will be much easier if you have your parents support.

If you cannot convince your parents - and you must talk to them again about this - go straight to the school office and demand to talk to the principal. Explain your issue in terms of having a safe and stress-free learning environment, and ask what can be done to make that happen. Good luck with this.