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Friend Is Rude In Front Of Populars - Read the Advice

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Dear Wants her old BFF back,

This, unfortunately, is a common problem. The problem of the popular cult is that it exerts a powerful magnetism, that lures wannabe members into acting unlike themselves, because they want to join the group so badly.

I'm sorry to hear your friend "Katie" has fallen into this trap. It's one thing to want to get into the in-crowd, but another to act like a jerk to your old friends. While you can't tell Katie who to be friends with, or make her stay your friend if she is drifting away, you can let her know that you won't put up with being treated like dirt. After all, she's still hanging out with you, and as long as you two are officially friends, you deserve her respect and good treatment, and nothing less, just like I'm sure you give to her.

So here's what to do. The next time Katie acts mean to you, and claims to be kidding, don't go along with the joke. If her popular friends are around, just say, "Whatever, I don't get your sense of humor." Then later, when you can get her alone, say something such as, "You know what Katie, you might think you're being funny, but it doesn't feel fun to be talked to like that. Actually, it really makes me feel bad." If she still tries to laugh off your feelings, tell her (in your own words), "Okay, I guess I don't share your sense of humor. Maybe we can hang out later, when you're not feeling so funny." Then take off - demonstrating that you won't stick around for bad treatment - and let her find you later, when she's thought about what happened.

Whatever you do, don't make a stand, and then stick around anyway. That will just teach your friend that you're all talk, no action, on wanting respect. You have to teach her how to treat you, by showing her that you believe you deserve respect, and don't stand around taking it when someone treats you badly and hurts your feelings.

Don't worry that this will drive your friend away - because she's already drifting. If she's going to go, she's going to go. But there's actually a chance for keeping this friendship, if you stand up for yourself, and show her you're nice, but not a doormat. Good luck.

 



 

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