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Dear Jellybean,
There's this girl at school who (from my perspective) thinks she can be the boss of my best friend! I DON'T like AT ALL! When ever I try to talk to my best friend she either glares at me and gets mad over nothing or just interrupts my conversations. This happens ALL THE TIME! I'm SICK of it! I want us all to be friends but apparently this can't happen. I'm in 6th grade and I've known my best friend since grade one. We've been in the same class since then, so I don't know what gives this girl the right to just barge into my life and steal my friend. I have 2 other friends that I mostly spend time with but I want to spend time with my best friend, too. PLEASE give me some advice. I feel so hurt.
-Sad to the bone
Dear Sad to the bone,
How annoying. The first thing to do is, talk to your friend alone, with nobody else around, either on the phone or when you're hanging out at her place or yours after school. You need to find out if your friend thinks this is a problem too, or if she's okay with the way things are. Don't blurt out that you can't stand that other girl - if your friend likes her, the news might travel. Just say, "Hey, we're not getting much time together lately. I find (annoying girl's name) is always around. What do you think about that?"
If your friend says, "Yeah, I know, it's really annoying" or some such thing, breathe a sigh of relief and attack the problem together. You can plan out what you'll both say if you get interrupted (such as, "Hey, we were speaking, hang on a minute"), or make a pact to ignore her glares, or glare back at her. In other words, tackle the problem together, like the great friends you are. Two heads, as they say, are better than one.
Now, if you bring up the issue and your friend says she likes the other girl, and has no problem with the way she's been acting, know that your problem is not with the annoying girl, but your friend. You'll need to tell your friend, gently, that you're feeling hurt and like she's being stolen away. Use "I" statements to describe your feelings - such as "I feel hurt when she interrupts us and we don't get to talk". This will help you make it clear that it's about your emotions, not about you blaming your friend for doing (or not doing) something.
Good luck. I hope that you can work things out. As you say, it would be best if you could all be friends. But if not, I hope at least that you can keep your BFF-ship.
