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Dear Jellybean,
hey, you say that the first step in making friends is to like yourself, so i just wanted to know..what if you dont like yourself? i dont like myself and im thinking this step has to be true because i dont have that many friends, granted, i just moved again, this time to tennessee, and i really, really want to make friends, and good ones, i dont want every one to not like me like they did back home. but anyways, how can i likee myself? please help me asap!! i dont want to be alone anymore.
-Lonely mover
Dear Lonely mover,
Aw, it's sad to hear that you don't like yourself. Everyone has likeable qualities - and it sounds like it's time for you to do some dwelling on yours.
Grab a pencil and paper and start making a list. Write down everything that is good about you. Are you loving with animals? Good at drawing? Creative? Spend time thinking about who you are, and putting the positive down on paper. When you're done, post the list someplace you will see it every day - such as your bedroom mirror - and make a point of adding new qualities to the list whenever they occur to you.
Moving to a new town and landing in unfamiliar territory can definitely be a lonely experience - but there are ways to make the transition easier. First, try not to dwell on how "different" you are. Instead, think about how fascinating you are! The people at your new school have probably gotten bored of each other, because they're all the same old friends with not much new to report. You, on the other hand, are from a different place, and have different experiences and stories to share. You actually have a lot to offer these people as a friend, when you think about it.
Until you find some new confidence, fake confidence a bit. It will makes you seem happy and friendly, so people will be more likely talk to you. And the funny thing is, smiling will make you feel better on the inside too.
Personally, I think the greatest way to make new friends, in a new place, is to get involved. Participate in after-school activities such as sports, groups, clubs, teams and committees. Sign up for anything and everything that interests you, from drama to yearbook to badminton. That way you will be meeting people who share your interests, and are looking to connect and spend time with others. Over time, these might become your new, closest friends. And you will feel included, and have something interesting to do with your time outside of class. As a bonus, as you become good at new things, you will gain confidence in yourself, which hopefully will make you like yourself more.
