| Article Index |
|---|
| Friend Is Being Rude |
| Read the Advice |
| All Pages |
Dear Sincerely Frustrated,
People who act rude generally do so because everyone else lets them get away with it. Meaning, if you want your friend to stop acting like this, you are going to need to start speaking up.
I don't suggest a confrontation, because your friend will probably just act defensive and accuse you of being jealous, or say something else to take the focus off herself. Being mean back is a bad idea too. Instead, just make a point of pointing out her behavior, exactly when it happens, and right when it happens. In other words, call her on what's bugging you.
Here's how to do that. If you're with your group of friends, and this rude friend makes a little comment, ask her immediately, "What do you mean by that?" Don't say it in an aggressive way, just act like you genuinely don't get what she means. Play dumb a bit, and make her explain. If she tries to change the subject, just say, "Okay, but sometimes when you make comments like that, it seems like you're trying to hurt my feelings. I can't be right, can I?"
If she acts like you're supposed to worship her... don't! When you disagree with something she says, politely speak up and say so. If she says something you know is wrong, gently correct her.
It's really important to stand up for yourself. We teach people how to treat us - and you need to teach this friend that you're not a doormat. Hopefully, she will learn the lesson in a graceful way, and you two can get back to your former friendship, on a basis of equality.
