Myjellybean.com

Dear Jellybean,

My friends have been getting the wrong idea of me. Here's the story:

Ok, so I have this best friend, and I love her dearly. But she cannot keep a secret. In example I told her who the guy I liked was, and almost completely blew it right in front of him. And then I told her my biggest secret ever and she has almost completely given it away about 4 times. If anyone happened to be attention my two biggest secrets would be spread around the school. I've tried talking to her about it and she only says that she's sorry and she's just so excited. But even if she is excited I cannot have these secrets going around school. How can I help her to stop giving away my secrets? Please help!!!

-Secretless Friend

Dear Secretless Friend,

First, you need to stop confiding your secrets to this friend. You know she's hopeless at keeping information secret, so protect yourself and don't tell her anything that you wouldn't write on your Facebook wall, or say in the middle of the school hallway.

I don't know if you can change your friend. You can definitely talk to her about this issue, telling her calmly that when she tells your secrets, it makes you feel terrible. You can also inform her that you've decided to start a new policy, of not ever telling her your big secrets, because you don't want to run the risk of them getting out.

Your friend may be hurt by this, so be prepared for that. However, I think it's the only wise thing to do right now. If she begs and pleads with you not to do that, you might want to do a little test, such as sharing a small secret with her (make it something you don't care about getting out), and telling her to keep it completely private. See what happens - if she shares it with anyone, you'll both have learned she's not capable of being the keeper of your secrets. And if she manages to keep it private, you can try telling her something a little more personal next time, and so on, until she proves she's worthy of keeping the big ones.