WHEN YOUR BOYFRIEND IS A BIG FLIRT
The scenario: You're at a party with your boyfriend. He's really putting on the moves tonight. He's smiling, flirting and chatting sweetly... the problem is, he's doing all this stuff with other girls!
Most girls have been there - in love with a guy who can't seem to stop flirting with other chicks. Having a "popular" boyfriend can be good for a girl's ego - after all, he could have anyone and he chose you. But even the most confident girl would take it personally if her guy couldn't stop flirting with others.
So what's a girl to do? If your boyfriend is a big flirt, your first step in solving the problem is figuring out the reasons behind his flirtatious behavior.
The Wanna-Be-Liked Flirter
Some guys flirt out of insecurity. They are nervous and insecure around girls, so they flirt to seem more confident. This type of guy is often shy in private, but he acts "pumped up" or "macho" when other girls are around. If any girl ever tried to "take him up" on his flirting, this guy would probably panic and run for the hills! If your boyfriend flirts with your friends, but seems relieved when he finally gets you alone, he might fall into this category. You can also spot these guys because they always stay right by your side while they flirt with other girls. This dude could be in need of attention and reassurance, which flirting gives him. But he likes you best, and needs the safety of your relationship.
If you think you've got an insecure flirter on your hands, try flirting with your boyfriend more! Giving him the attention he needs, and letting him know that you find him attractive and fun to be with, will probably make him lose the need to get that attention from other girls. But if this doesn't work, don't put up with obnoxious behavior. If you don't like the way your boyfriend acts with other girls, let him know about it... and expect him to stop. Using a little humor can be effective, so don't be afraid to tease him about his flirting habit. If he doesn't stop it after you've talked, dump the dude, because he isn't mature enough or nice enough to respect your feelings.
Mr. Flirty-By-Nature
Maybe your boyfriend isn't being flirty, but friendly. If he has a smile and "hi" for everyone he sees, not just girls, he is probably just a good-natured guy who was brought up to be polite and outgoing. He might even be old-fashioned and a bit chivalrous, which means he will seem even more attentive to girls. Strangely enough, good conversation skills can seem like flirting sometimes. Some guys are also more physical than others, always touching the arm of the person they're talking to. So before you accuse him of anything, think about whether he act so differently with girls than with guys.
The Player
There is flirting, and then there's flirting. While the Wanna-Be-Liked flirter just needs to feel like girls notice him, the Player is actually trying to hook up with other girls. Maybe your boyfriend "disappears" at parties, and later you hear that he was hanging with another girl. He always stops talking to girls right when you walk up to him. You might notice he gets mysterious messages on his pager and has to take off suddenly. Or he's a shameless type who humiliates you in public by acting as if you were not there, when another cute girl is around.
If you're with a player, the only solution is to confront him. Tell him you're upset by his playing ways, and you need a guy who can give you his full attention. He might deny his behavior or try to talk you out of it. Or he might apologize and promise to reform. Just remember, you know what your gut instincts are telling you - and if they say he's untrustworthy, you should follow those feelings and get out of the relationship.