WHEN HE CHEATS

He cheated. You're heartbroken. So what are you supposed to do now? Myjellybean.com offers tips to help you cope, and to help you protect yourself from being hurt again.

Let Yourself Feel

You feel angry and despondent? That’s normal. Don't try to fake it like you're fine. Acknowledge and accept your feelings of anger, sadness and disappointment over your boyfriend’s betrayal.

Know Who To Blame

Do NOT blame yourself for your boyfriend's actions. Remember that you can't be responsible for anyone's behavior other than your own. He cheated, and no matter what you could have possibly done to make him feel a certain way, he’s the one who made the choice to betray you with someone else. He could have handled it differently. Or told you he wanted out. Or controlled himself. He didn’t do that. It is HIS fault and ONLY his fault.

Be Your Own Friend

Try to set aside your emotions and look at the situation from an outsider's point of view. What advice would you give to your friend if this happened to her?

Ask The Big Question

Think very seriously about whether his behavior has permanently destroyed your trust in him and in your relationship. Do you believe he won't repeat his actions in the future? Why?

Confront Him

Confront your boyfriend (unless you feel doing so would put you in any danger, of course) and tell him exactly how you feel about what he did to you. Let him know that cheating is not acceptable behavior in your relationship. Tell him just how bad he hurt you. Share some of that pain with him. He deserves to see what his actions have done.

Seek The Truth If You Must

If you feel you need to know why he cheated on you to go on with things, listen to his explanations about his cheating. Remember that listening does not mean you agree with or accept his behavior. You’re just finding out the truth of what happened.

Show Him You Respect Yourself

Don't allow him to manipulate your feelings with sweet words of apology or promises never to cheat on you again. Be realistic. Do you honestly believe this was a one-time event, or do your instincts tell you that he'll probably cheat on you again in the future? FYI, once a guy cheats and you forgive him, it is almost a sure thing he’ll do it again. After all, now he knows he’ll be forgiven. Think about it.

Be Real About It

Ask yourself if you would be better off with him or without him. Can you continue to enjoy the relationship, knowing about the betrayal? Can you kiss him without imagining him kissing that other girl? Will you believe his declarations of love, when you know he was with her?

Work It Out

Find a constructive outlet for your emotions of disappointment and anger. Pour your heart out to friends, and throw yourself into physical activities to let out those strong feelings.

Easy Does It

Give yourself time to grieve over the betrayal. Whether you stay with him or not, you need to accept what happened and mourn what you lost, so you can heal and move on with your life. If you decide the relationship is over for good, start on the path to recovery by reading the Myjellybean.com article Getting Over a Bad Breakup (click here).