BREAK UP WITH HIM TIPS
Most of us know what it feels like to be dumped: the pain, humiliation, anger, and hurt. But the time may also come when you must do the dumping. Myjellybean.com presents tips for dumping a dude the "nice way", so you can spare him unnecessary pain... and maybe be friends again someday.
DON'T...
Break up over the phone. It's too impersonal.
Break up right before a major holiday, a big occasion for you as a couple, or any day that's really important to your boyfriend (his birthday, your anniversary, Valentine's Day, Christmas, right after his dog dies). If you pull that stunt, then an otherwise happy day for your boyfriend will be forever tinged with pain - or an already painful day will become more unbearable.
Criticize or blame the person you're dumping for what he may or may not have done. Now is not the time to point out all his personality flaws, like how he never pronounced your last name right.
Let him guilt you into changing your mind.
Be mean. Dumping a guy by telling him, "I just got bored with you" or "you're a really bad kisser" will wreck his ego and he'll probably never get over it.
Let him make you feel like a "bitch" for dumping him. Just like it takes two to make a relationship work, it's both people's responsibility when it doesn't.
DO...
Talk about it as a mutual decision. Say things like, "It's right for both of us" so the dude you're rejecting doesn't feel so out of control.
Be respectful of his feelings. Understand that he might need some time to get over being hurt, before he can "just be friends" with you.
Tell him that there was something good between you, Guys often feel like he was never understood or loved, once the relationship is over.
Reassure him that your feelings were real, but they've changed.Remind him of his good qualities. Saying something like "You're so funny and nice, I know you'll find the right girl", gives him a boost to his ego when he badly needs it.
Point out your own responsibility. Use phrases that start with the word "I", such as "I'm not ready for a commitment" or "I can't be true to someone yet" or "I need to focus on school right now instead of romance." If he tries to convince you otherwise, tell him "You deserve better."
This can help him stop blaming himself for not being good enough.Explain clearly that it's over. Say "We shouldn't call each other for a while" or "I want to be on my own without any guy" so that there is no room for misunderstanding.
Be firm. If you give him even a hint that you're not serious, you are inviting him to try to change your mind. Don't give him false hopes.
Feel good that you considered his feelings. It's kind to dump someone if you know you're not really interested. At least then he has the chance to go find someone who's right for him. And so do you!