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Dear Jellybean,
It's been a year and a half since I've had a boyfriend and recently someone swept me off my feet. The only problem is I'm still in love with my ex and I'm constantly comparing my new boyfriend to him.
Although my ex moved to another state, I can't picture my self with no one else. He has a girlfriend and is completly happy so why can't I move on? Should I let go of a relationship that may or may not last, or allow my boyfriend a place in my heart. It's kind of shaky because according to my horoscope my new boyfriend and I aren't a good match. They say it will be all good at first but it deffinently wont last.
My ex boyfriend and I on the other hand are a perfect match. There's just a possible chance that he's never coming back. This is so confusing. I want so bad to be happy but truthfully all I want is my ex. What should I do?
-TayShanae
Dear TayShanae,
It can be hard to get over a past love, and even harder not to compare each new guy to him. The fact that you're doing so means you're not quite over your ex - but it doesn't mean you should break up with your new boyfriend, or harden your heart to him.
It takes time to let go of old feelings. You loved your ex a lot, it sounds like, so it's only natural that you would still be feeling some of those old emotions. Give yourself a break, and don't try to rush yourself. As time goes on, you will naturally think of your old boyfriend less and less. That is just what happens when someone is no longer around. Even if you feel like you'll never get over him, you might surprise yourself by doing just that, sooner than you think.
While you're still in the process of moving on, it's okay to date new people, especially when they "sweep you off your feet". However, don't rush yourself to fall in love with this new guy, or worry about how much you are "letting him into your heart" completely. You are still hurting from your last relationship, and might not be ready to get serious with someone new. Take it slowly, let your current boyfriend know that you need him to give you some time to catch up with his feelings for you, and just see how it goes.
If the new guy is the "right" guy, he will be respectful of your need to take things slowly, and give you the emotional space you need to figure out your feelings. Over time, and if he treats you well, you may find yourself falling more deeply for him, and comparing him more favorably to the guy that got away.
