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  1. #1
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    Jan 2006
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    What is my intuition telling me?

    I'm not sure how to tell the difference between intuition/gut feeling and just plain old paranoia or overreacting.

    The main point is there are huge issues between me and my boyfriend. I broke up with him for that among other reasons, but we've been talking again to see if we could work it out and to see if he could prove to me that I should be with him...

    Throughout the relationship I've been so put off by the fact that he was always so secretive with his phone (screen lock, placing it face down on the table, and taking it everywhere with him...even the bathroom). And he always had an excuse.
    There were a couple incidents when I caught his ex at his house because he was borrowing money from her or whatever and he claims nothing went on but obviously ever since that I've had issues trusting him.

    There were a couple things that I questioned and couldn't explain even though he came up with an explanation that was too good to argue. But he could just be a good liar. I don't have any evidence that he's cheated on me but I have this overwhelming feeling that he talks to his ex. And even if he was I don't know why he'd hide it.

    Maybe I'm just looking for reasons not to trust him, but my stomach turns when I think of the situation. I don't know if I should give him another chance or not.
    "Reality leaves a lot to the Imagination" - John Lennon

  2. #2
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    sounds like no. even if he wasn't up to anything (which tbh sounds like he was), you still don't trust him.
    Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.

  3. #3
    Well, the situation itself sounds really sketchy, so you have good reason not to trust him. But regardless of whether it's your intuition or just you being paranoid, the bottom line is that you don't trust him. You can't be in a relationship with someone you don't trust whether that distrust is warranted or not. It just won't work.
    And now that you know, that forever is not forever
    And now that you know, that tomorrow might be the end
    It's gonna take time to heal your soul, but it can't be fixed if you don't let it go
    And you're the only one that can change your life
    You are what you think you are, you can make it good, you can make it high

  4. #4
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    I'm confused. You don't trust him because you can't snoop through his phone (because he takes it everywhere and GASP puts it face down on tables) and you think that maybe he could possibly be talking to an ex?


    I think you're overreacting. But if you have that many trust issues, the relationship sounds doomed anyway.
    Your scream is burning through my veins.

    Live fast, die pretty.

    "The knight departing for new adventures offends his lady, yet she has nothing but contempt for him if he remains at her feet" Simone de Beauvoir.

    ARP <3 Come back to me.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by lolz@yourface View Post
    sounds like no. even if he wasn't up to anything (which tbh sounds like he was), you still don't trust him.
    Exactly what I was going to say. You don't want to be in a relationship where every five minutes you are wondering if he's hiding something from you.
    You think you're all that, Kim Possible, but you're not!

  6. #6
    Are you normally fairly trusting? Because none of the things you listed sound remotely suspicious to me, but as you said, your "intuition" feels that something is off. If you normally trust people and he's an anomaly, then I think it's likely that he is the one with the problem and your intuition is correct. However, if he's your first boyfriend or if you have had problems with trusting people before, perhaps you need to slow down a bit and try to work on trusting people.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by SweetSweetIrony View Post
    I'm confused. You don't trust him because you can't snoop through his phone (because he takes it everywhere and GASP puts it face down on tables) and you think that maybe he could possibly be talking to an ex?
    yeah i guess i can kinda see that too. i'm pretty secretive about my phone and usually put it face down on tables... not cuz i cheat but cuz i frequently text my friends about my relationship worries and don't want him to see a text about him lol. i also take random embarrassing photos of myself i don't want people accidentally seeing ahah
    Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by lolz@yourface View Post
    yeah i guess i can kinda see that too. i'm pretty secretive about my phone and usually put it face down on tables... not cuz i cheat but cuz i frequently text my friends about my relationship worries and don't want him to see a text about him lol. i also take random embarrassing photos of myself i don't want people accidentally seeing ahah
    Same here. I'm constantly on my phone, it's usually in my hoodie pocket so if I get up and leave a room it obviously comes with me. I do the same too, ask friends for opinions on stuff or share my worries. If a guy accused of me of cheating because he couldn't look through my phone, that'd be a deal breaker.
    Your scream is burning through my veins.

    Live fast, die pretty.

    "The knight departing for new adventures offends his lady, yet she has nothing but contempt for him if he remains at her feet" Simone de Beauvoir.

    ARP <3 Come back to me.

  9. #9
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    So something else very weird happened guys... we've been talking on and off, just to see if the friendship thing would work and possibly re-ignite the relatioship. This past weekend he went out of town with his family and had been dying to see me when he got back so I went over to his (our old) apartment to talk.

    Well I was only there for a few minutes when I noticed the little white board he has on the fridge had a note on it. I just randomly started to read it out loud and it said "i love you. make yourself at home laura". And I flipped out. Laura is his ex who I always had the suspicion he was talking to. I bolted out the door so fast.

    I drove home crying and he kept calling saying "come back, I need to explain." His explanation is that his friend/our friend was there for the weekend watching the cat and wrote that note as a cruel joke against him/me.

    So my bf/ex bf was begging me to go back to talk to him, to believe him,and he even tried proposing to me over the phone. I guess I'm kinda gullible for even remotely believing him but what do you guys think!? He doesn't understand WHY I don't trust him! I definitely don't think I can go back to him or even talk to him. Even if he is telling the truth, it's a stupid unnecessary joke! It doesn't make any sense to me.
    "Reality leaves a lot to the Imagination" - John Lennon

  10. #10
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    Yeah sorry girl but that's the worst cover up I've ever heard. Don't believe it.
    You think you're all that, Kim Possible, but you're not!

  11. #11
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    I'm just wondering when he is ever going to tell the truth? He keeps denying everything and I'm so confused. I just want to know the truth so we can both move on with our lives.
    "Reality leaves a lot to the Imagination" - John Lennon

  12. #12
    Hallie Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by bluemusic182 View Post
    I'm just wondering when he is ever going to tell the truth? He keeps denying everything and I'm so confused. I just want to know the truth so we can both move on with our lives.
    You don't need to hear it from him in order to move on...Its pretty obvious he's lying.

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Hallie View Post
    You don't need to hear it from him in order to move on...Its pretty obvious he's lying.
    yeah...he probably won't ever tell you the truth...just leave him. It's not a good relationship. You won't trust him, he won't give you reason to trust him.
    A piece of my heart lies with my Golden, now and forever. RIP Teddy. I love you.
    06/14/2002-28/10/2010

  14. #14
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    Oct 2010
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemusic182 View Post
    So something else very weird happened guys... we've been talking on and off, just to see if the friendship thing would work and possibly re-ignite the relatioship. This past weekend he went out of town with his family and had been dying to see me when he got back so I went over to his (our old) apartment to talk.

    Well I was only there for a few minutes when I noticed the little white board he has on the fridge had a note on it. I just randomly started to read it out loud and it said "i love you. make yourself at home laura". And I flipped out. Laura is his ex who I always had the suspicion he was talking to. I bolted out the door so fast.

    I drove home crying and he kept calling saying "come back, I need to explain." His explanation is that his friend/our friend was there for the weekend watching the cat and wrote that note as a cruel joke against him/me.

    So my bf/ex bf was begging me to go back to talk to him, to believe him,and he even tried proposing to me over the phone. I guess I'm kinda gullible for even remotely believing him but what do you guys think!? He doesn't understand WHY I don't trust him! I definitely don't think I can go back to him or even talk to him. Even if he is telling the truth, it's a stupid unnecessary joke! It doesn't make any sense to me.

    He's so obviously lying, and that reminded me of the "i cant. i have to wash my...cat" excuse. It doesn't make sense as a joke and only confirmed your suspicions, it would probably be best for you to just move on.
    But you got a heart so big, it could crush this town. And I can't hold out forever, even walls fall down.

    "You're not gunna get in my head"
    "I'm already in your head"


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