Marriage or moving in first...

[ib<3nu]

I've lived with a boyfriend before and I would never do it again. I personally don't feel like I learned anything different about him after living together other than the random stuff you learn from just dating a person longer in general.

[snowyangel24]

I definitely want to live with someone before I'd agree to marry them, I can't imagine agreeing to live with someone forever without trying it out first.

I don't believe the stats on cohabitation correlating with divorce are as simple as people like to make them out to be, I think there are many more factors to consider as to why it appears that way, the type/beliefs of people who live together before marriage vs. those who don't, their beliefs towards divorce, etc. It makes little sense how living together before would cause a higher chance of divorce.

this. i'm definitely living with the guy first. i want to know what it's like living with the guy before i marry him since ill be doing it for the rest of my life. what if he's got horrible habits around the house? i can't live with someone who doesn't help clean.

[lolz@yourface]

i would never marry a person until living with them for at least a few years.

[Cinderella]

I don't see the huge difference between living together and being married. I'm also biased, because I'm on the fence about getting married at all. But I wouldn't marry someone without living with them first. I think when you're living together you aren't just seeing their "little quirks", but you're merging your lives together. I can't explain it properly, but I think you can be in each other's life only to a certain extent when you live apart. I just can't see committing my life to someone when I haven't completely shared my life with them yet. But what do I know, I've never lived with a boyfriend, lol.

This exactly. When you live with someone, you don't get to have secrets (I mean, you can, but it's probably not healthy), and everything you experience will be together to some extent (even if you are apart). A lot of people think it's all about figuring out who does the dishes and who picks up the laundry, or think there's nothing left to learn after already having been together x number of years. There's always something left to learn, no matter how long you've been together.

OP, you should do whatever feels right to you, not what your Mom says you should do. If you are old enough to live on your own or with a partner, you're also old enough to make your own decisions. It's not a decision to be taken lightly, but you need to decide what feels genuine for you and your BF and then do it.

For my fiance and I, moving in together was the right thing to do. We wanted to live together, plain and simple (we weren't testing it out for marriage or anything like that). We lived together a year in my apartment, then bought a house. Then we got engaged, and next year we'll be married. This was the right order of things for us, based on the things we value, but it wouldn't be right for everyone. I do not think living together is essential for a good marriage, but I also don't think it's detrimental unless you make it that way.

[Joy]

I don't have "rules" for my relationship. If we decide we want to live together, we will. If the situation never comes up, oh well. My boyfriend and I have talked about it and I probably will move in with him pretty soon. If he lived closer, I probably wouldn't, but right now I'm sick of never seeing him.

[musicgirl]

I've been back and forth on the issue. I'm sure my parents would want me to get married first, but it's really none of their concern. At this point, I think I'd like to live together first. The way I see it is when you live together, if you choose to get married later, you can both start saving for the wedding. Of course it'd be nice to get to know how it feels to live with someone. But if a couple lives close to each other and spend nights at each other's places already...it's pretty much like living together anyway lol. You'd get to know their quirks and things...at least most of them

[Henry VIII]

I've been living with my boyfriend for 3 years, we've been together for 5. For us there were no deal breakers we learned about from living together, but I do think it's important to live together before you get married because that's when issues surface.