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Thread: Step parents.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2011

    Step parents.

    Just wanting to hear from those of you with step-parents and what your relationship is like, how long they've been in your life, your family dynamics, etc.

    It would help me out a lot since I'm essentially a 'step mom' but I come from a family where my parents are still together so I have little experience with the matter... And I'm just curious. Thanks!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    I have a stepmom, have had one since i was 5.
    Our relationship is weird. Like my entire childhood she was insanely jealous of my mom so she treated me like the redheaded stepchild (my hair was blonde!). We rarely ever speak, and that's the way it's been for a very long time (since i was about 8). It's getting better now though because she despises my stepsisters boyfriend so she wants to vent to a female in the house. But yeah, she didn't treat me with much respect.. In turn my stepsister treated me with zero respect. and i lived with them for 8 years... fun times. not.

    My advice would be............... the childs parents got a divorce for a reason, if the only reason they communicate is to exchange a child you have no reason to turn into a green monster. Treat the child as if they are a child in your home and not some annoying neighborkid down the street, and if you do one thing for you own child (while stepchild is around) do it for your stepchild also.

  3. #3
    kayt Guest
    i have a step-dad, he's been in my life for about 10-12 years. he was supposed to adopt me so that my biological father would be out of the picture 100% but it never happened. he's really nice and i don't think we've ever had a serious problem. i'm not really sure if i see him as an actual father figure to myself personally but he's a great father to my siblings (half siblings btw). it's a good relationship, i don't necessarily go to him for advice and stuff but if i'm talking to my mom and he's around then obviously i'll allow him to give his input and stuff etc.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Blog Entries
    Don't have one but most people I know either hate or have a weird relationship with theirs

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2009
    My parents have been divorced since I was 6. My step dad has lived with my mom, my sister, my brother and me since then and I love him alot. I consider him my father just like I do my biological father. I can talk to him about the same things I talk to my mom about. However, he and my brother had a very rocky relationship when my brother was younger. That probably has to do with the fact that he is older than my sister and me and probably had some resentment towards my step dad because he took the place of the man of the house.

    I go to my dads house every other weekend. My dad has been with my step mom since the divorce, too (considering the reason for the divorce was that my dad was cheating on my mom with my step mom). When I was younger, she was always sweet and caring and a bit fake. She loves us I'm sure but for the past couple years she has been a huge bitch. She blames me for things that she does and she's always comparing her daughter to me. She treats me like a burden. I'm starting not to care though so whatever.

    I definitely agree with whoever said step parents shouldn't treat their step kid like the annoying neighbor kid down the street. They should be treated like your own kid and a member of your household. Also, I hate it when my step mom is fake nice. That always makes me think that she is insincere.
    There ain't no rest for the wicked, until we close our eyes for good.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Quote Originally Posted by Canis Lupus View Post
    Just wanting to hear from those of you with step-parents and what your relationship is like, how long they've been in your life, your family dynamics, etc.

    It would help me out a lot since I'm essentially a 'step mom' but I come from a family where my parents are still together so I have little experience with the matter... And I'm just curious. Thanks!
    My stepdad has been in my life since I was 5, he's always treated me and my brother so well, threw birthday parties for us when we were little, helped out majorly with school, etc. He had two kids with my mom, my little sister and brother, but he treats us all as if we are his.

    And on the flip side, my stepmom, she's been in my life since I was 5 as well, She's always treated me and my bro like one of hers as well, my dad actually ended up adopting her three kids so they could have someone to call dad, She used to treat me and her youngest daughter (a year younger than me) like twins haha, if one of us got something, the other one did too. She treats all her children (Her three kids, and me and my bro) as if we were hers as well.
    I was lucky to gain two very loving and awesome step parents. Neither of them ever used the term "step" to describe us. And neither did we, I would never be like "Oh my step sister" or "Oh, my half brother" etc, they are all my brothers and sisters, blood, half-blood, full blood, or not.

    So yeah, pretty much, just treat the child with respect and love them unconditionally. :0)
    "A light in the middle of the f***ing sky! yeah, that's brilliant!"

    "Maybe, just maybe, he was an English teacher. Learn to spell and he'll go away!"

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2011
    my step dad is wonderful, and has been with my mom almost 10 years. i'm close with him. my dad's wife, i don't consider my step mom because she's only like 7 or 8 years older than me. i am polite to her but generally don't have much to say to her since she's a homewrecker. they have two young sons together.
    Thanks a whole... lot.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    I adore both of my step parents.

    My step mom, I would definitely consider her a friend. I originally despised her, as my father cheated on my mom with her, but after being forced to live with them for a couple years I've learned she's just a super nice lady. Her and I have stayed up sooo many nights just talking about anything, and it's great.

    My step dad is more of a father figure than my dad could ever be. I love my dad, yes, but my step dad is amazing. He came into the picture about 4 years ago and has been great to my siblings and I. I would much rather go to him for advice before either of my real parents.

    My advice for you is try not to be the new mommy, because no one will appreciate that, but rather just a really good friend.
    "My greatest gift to you
    Is a dance floor
    Free from insecurity." - Alexisonfire

    "Your innocence is treasure, your innocence is death
    Your innocence is all I have." -Smashing Pumpkins

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    My step-mom has been with us almost three years now. We have a strange relationship. She and my dad started dating about three or so months after my mom passed away and kind of hid the relationship for a while. Then they moved really fast and got married in less than a year. So it was very sudden and I was very unhappy about it. I refused to speak to her unless I needed to. I blamed her, but I know it wasn't her fault now. She was, at the beginning, overly nice and that bothered me. Sometimes she would even call me her daughter if she introduced me to other people, and that I hated. I felt like she was trying to replace my mom. Over the past year or so we've been communicating better. I've come to realize that my dad doesn't really care to hear about my day, and so I talk to her about my life and what's going on. She has three kids of her own, all older than me, and her and her daughters relationship is kinda rocky so I think she enjoys it. I mean, we're not nearly as close and me and my mom were and I don't think we'll ever be that way.

    My advice to you would be don't be overly nice and don't try to take the place of the kids mom. Its not your place. You should talk with the guy you are with and know your expectations, if you are expected to discipline and such, etc. I am in a relationship right now and he has a 6 year old son. I think I treat him pretty well, kinda like a kid I am babysitting. You play and hang out, take care of basic needs (food, getting ready, brushing teeth, etc.) but I don't discipline or anything like that. Occasionally I will mention something to his dad, or sometimes I'll say "we can't call people that/can't do that/etc. because it is not nice to do that to others" but not all the time. You don't need to parent the child per say, but make sure you discuss expectations and treat the child with respect and such, just as you would your own child. Just don't try to take the place of the kids mom.
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  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    I've had two stepdads basically and one stepmom. I've gotten along well with all of them. (first stepdad ages 11-12 or 13, second who's still just my mom's bf but basically a stepdad 13-now at 18; stepmom since 14). My mom just didn't mesh with first stepdad at all. We got along well, though. I was probably closer to him and his daughter than my mom and little sister. Second psuedo stepdad's been around for so long, but they dont live together so it's not like a deep bond with us or anything, but he's really chill and easy to talk to about "shallow" things I guess lol. My stepmom is one of the nicest ladies, and treats me and my sister like we're her own.
    Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I am not living.

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  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    My step dad and I do not have a good relationship. He's been in the picture for about 5/6 years now. I was bitter from the start as he moved in while I was away for the summer, not having even known he existed. So that was a shock. Then him and my mom became increasingly violent with me until I finally moved with my biological father. Now I just try not to wind up alone with him and never really say a word to him.

  12. #12
    Tokyo Guest
    My realparents are seperated so I don't have a "step dad" really but he has been with my mom for around 5 years and has lived with her that whole time. I lived with him for about a two years, lived on my own for three, and now live with them again. We have a pretty chill relationship. Both of us are more laid back then my crazy mom so we can relate on her weird behavior. He only tried to enforce one rule as soon as he moved in, which was that my boyfriend couldn't live with me anymore, i was pissed but I ended up liking not spending every second with him, living together was ruining our relationship anyways. We basically got along at first cause we both smoked weed haha. Really anything is better than my real dad who is bipolar and was physically abusive to only me out of three other siblings. Not that I would want that for them. My dad had a long term girlfriend who my sister lived with but I hardly know her.


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