Login

My Jelly Bean

+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 31
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    12,506

    How do super conservative christians have sex on their wedding night?

    siriusly

    This has mystified me for years. I am no talking about "I am saving my virginity for marriage by my boyfriend and I have anal sex" catholic school girl virgins, I mean like legit, "I've never seen porn or masturbated in my life and I am saving my first kiss for the alter" virgins. Does the hand of god come down and guide the penis in?! Those chicks don't use tampons and I am sure as hell they don't sit around checking out their genitalia in the mirror. How do either of them even know where the vagina IS? How does that dude even know how to maintain an erection?

    And its not like you get to ease into the sex, it's like first kiss, and then, BAM- BANG TIME.

    Someone plz explain. Do they get an 'intro to sex' christian DVD as a wedding gift or what? If they make that I really want to watch one.
    stop whining. Make life your bitch.

  2. #2
    Badly.
    Jenna

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,602
    They don't use tampons? Where are you getting this information?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    12,506
    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    They don't use tampons? Where are you getting this information?
    The internet
    The internet never lies.
    stop whining. Make life your bitch.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    12,506
    this is the weirdest site:

    http://christiannymphos.org/2008/06/...msuit-modesty/

    article about swimsuit modesty written by cumingirl. "I think modesty is necessary not just so you arenít wearing something indecent, but to guard others (esp. men) from sin." Watch out for teh men guyz.
    stop whining. Make life your bitch.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    6,971
    My guess would be very awkwardly. If this is any indication, at least.
    "Goin' on a year now I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!" Kaylee-Serenity

    Some girl on the street asked if i was saved yet. I told her I saved at the checkpoint a couple minutes back and can reload from there if I die. She was confused.

  7. #7
    Haha, that video is hilarious!
    Yeh I would say very awkwardly, jeeez!
    Its not denial.
    I'm just very selective about the reality I accept.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    3,246
    instinct. the same way animals do it. they don't watch porn or any or that either. but I imagine it would be very awkward and short lived.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLRE6c6ntrg

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    2,446
    I've been wondering this myself considering one of my friends is that type of christian, and she's getting married this summer. She has kissed though, so she's got that down.

    I recall watching an episode of 19 kids and counting where the oldest one got married and they got a "wedding night" cd to listen to. if you skip to 2:50 thats where the cd part is. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGbWkZpdCOI
    Pornigami!

    "I started crying hysterically, and then he put his pants back on"

  10. #10
    Tokyo Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Guns N' Rachel View Post
    It's probably really ****ty. Oh god, I'm so glad I don't live my life like that. What happens if you get married and then you realize you aren't sexually compatible with your new husband/wife? That sounds like a ****ing nightmare.
    haha right! I beg my 21 year old sister not to save herself for marriage. There are a couple guys I've had sex with that if I got married to THEN had sex with them I would be very very dissapointed. No sexual chemistry at all and weiners so small I had to fake cause I felt so bad. :/

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    4,064
    Quote Originally Posted by popsicle.pirate View Post
    this is the weirdest site:

    http://christiannymphos.org/2008/06/...msuit-modesty/

    article about swimsuit modesty written by cumingirl. "I think modesty is necessary not just so you arenít wearing something indecent, but to guard others (esp. men) from sin." Watch out for teh men guyz.
    Oh god that is the worst possible username that girl could use. It has to be a joke.
    You think you're all that, Kim Possible, but you're not!

  12. #12
    kayt Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Dr. Drakken View Post
    Oh god that is the worst possible username that girl could use. It has to be a joke.
    AHAHA i thought this too

    i can't really imagine how it would be for them. probably awkward as ****.. so then they think every time they have sex it will be like that, so they never bother to do it again. which is exactly what the bible wanted for them!!! there, i've figured it out, guys.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    2,627
    Quote Originally Posted by Amaretto View Post
    My guess would be very awkwardly. If this is any indication, at least.
    A FACE! YUM!!! [puke] I love how one of the adults facepalmed.

    Also, this: Worth the Wait
    monicaacinom: I'm distraught that you aren't a nihilistic Hi-C drinker.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    12,506
    Quote Originally Posted by Amaretto View Post
    My guess would be very awkwardly. If this is any indication, at least.
    Oh my god
    This comment is right on: "They look like two seals fighting for a piece of fish."
    stop whining. Make life your bitch.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    1,001
    i have a lot of mormon friends. i wonder about this quite a lot.

    but i think it's only a problem for the people that haven't done anything, like you said. for everyone else, i feel like it would be the same as the average person's first time. the only difference being if the sex is awful you have to deal with it forever.
    LAUREN!

    "its not that i don't know what i'm supposed to say, but there's no border patrol in my head that says which words should leave or stay unsaid."

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:57 AM.