my boyfriend just broke up with me

[whiteoleander]

yup.. not really sure what else to say, it was pretty out of nowhere for me but i know i was also ignoring signs. just hurts a lot, i've never been dumped before. i feel like i'm not sure where to situate myself without him, but he said he wouldnt have any problem situating himself without me. i just feel like i got stabbed, we've been planning our future together for a year, i'm confused as to when it stopped being us and started being him.

i know its probably for the best, but man does this feel like shi t

[whiteoleander]

Oh man. I don't know the situation or story but that sounds terrible. I'm sorry. Were you guys together a year? It feels like a **** now, but it does get easier. I know it's pretty pointless hearing that now, but it does. It's always better not to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. Because that's just miserable.

We were together over a year and a half. He just said he feels like he needs to focus on him and that he knows hes not going to be able to give me what i want in the next few years. I know he's right but still. I just wish we could have tried to work through it but he seemed pretty sure.

I'm so sorry. I know that's pretty useless right now though. When I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 and a half years I completely broke down. I cried, I didn't sleep, I just felt so awful and horrible. I honestly couldn't see myself ever being happy again (as dramatic as that is). So just know that what you're feeling is normal and ok. Also know though that it does dissipate and you'll start to feel normal again.

Sorry I know this isn't super comforting.

Thanks, i know i'll be fine without him. I just already miss him so much. Not like having a boyfriend in general, specifically him. But it sounds like hes totally completely fine

But i also know he wasn't that he wasn't the love of my life. There was something ultimately missing. I mean i am definitely sad, but i'm not a complete disaster the way you'd expect me to be the day after breaking up.. I'm mostly sad because i feel like im losing my best friend.

[whiteoleander]

At least he didn't give you some half ass excuse about "needing to find himself" or the ridiculous **** some people pull. He was honest about it. In the end it;s why my ex and I broke up too a few years ago. It does hurt, so bad. But the fact he gave you something honest about why will eventually help you move on easier, because you have some closure on why even if it does make you unhappy. Take the weekend to relax and have a bit of time either alone, or with friends/family, whichever you feel you want to do right now. It's easiest to take each day at a time.

Thanks so much Joanne, this was helpful. I know he was honest and that will help me move on in the long run, but its just so hard because we both still love each other and it feels wrong to be apart. I just feel sooo lost, i'm not really sure what to do with myself. My mom and sister are coming up today to visit and im going for dinner with a girlfriend tonight, and tomorrow i'm going shopping and a movie with another friend. It's just the WORST time cause i have two exams left and we go home for summer soon, i can't imagine not seeing him for four months.. But it's probably best

[whiteoleander]

It is really hard especially when you have been together a while, you're used to your everyday life being around each other. Weekend and evening plans, texts, calls. Then all of a sudden it's all gone, it;s like someone ripped something away from you. That's really good you have lots to keep busy with breakups are good in a way too, they really make you realise which people in your life are there for you. Right now everything is still really raw, and in the next few weeks one day you'll feel better and the next feel like you're right back where you started. But you just need to take it a day at a time. Concentrate on what's important, you're exams.

Yah, thank god i have a really good support system of friends and family who love me. I just want to feel better now, this sad thing is going to get old quickly.

[whiteoleander]

BUMP because im still so sad and want to talkkk

[EarlySummer]

That really sucks, I'm sorry. A lot of people say to think of all the things that you hated or couldn't stand about the person, and be happy that you don't have to deal with it anymore. But when I was going through a breakup, this didn't help me much because I couldn't find too many things I didn't like (I was head over heels, he was my first love). Instead, think of all the ways you thought he was good for you, all the things you liked about him. Now think about this: since you guys didn't work out, that means someone EVEN BETTER is out there for you! It can sometimes be hard to imagine someone better when you're still dealing with the freshness of the breakup, but it's really true. If you guys broke up, that means there is someone even better than you can imagine in your future.

I don't know if that helps, but it helped me sometimes. Plus, this song was my anthem. I hope you feel better, it sounds like the breakup was for the best. Just remember things will turn around in the future. Keep your head up!

[whiteoleander]

That really sucks, I'm sorry. A lot of people say to think of all the things that you hated or couldn't stand about the person, and be happy that you don't have to deal with it anymore. But when I was going through a breakup, this didn't help me much because I couldn't find too many things I didn't like (I was head over heels, he was my first love). Instead, think of all the ways you thought he was good for you, all the things you liked about him. Now think about this: since you guys didn't work out, that means someone EVEN BETTER is out there for you! It can sometimes be hard to imagine someone better when you're still dealing with the freshness of the breakup, but it's really true. If you guys broke up, that means there is someone even better than you can imagine in your future.

I don't know if that helps, but it helped me sometimes. Plus, this song was my anthem. I hope you feel better, it sounds like the breakup was for the best. Just remember things will turn around in the future. Keep your head up!

Thank you, yah, it was for the best. I'm coming to terms with it actually. Like i said, i knew he wasnt the love of my life, so in the long run it was better to do it now than later. My friends and family have been amazing, im just gonna focus on staying busy and i know ill be fine.