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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
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    484

    Am I a bitch for this?...

    So apparently last night my boyfriend's ex/baby momma "burnt her house down" (what her message said, but in reality just her kitchen) and was gonna send the kids here until she figured **** out. Which is cool, whatever, I love them. But then after talking to her a bit my boyfriend comes to me (we were at a buddy's house having a BBQ and drinking) and says, well can she (baby momma) stay with us too? And I was like "well, that's kinda awkward .." and then he gets all pissy and starts making me feel bad like, "Dont be so immature she has no where to go, she wants to be with her kids." and blahblagblah. Apparently because she couldn't stay here too they all 'had' to go to Red Cross instead. And my boyfriend is all mad because his kids stayed at Red Cross, which is apparently my fault. Ugh. Should I have just been okay with it? :/

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
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    3,246
    I've never been in this situation before but, how is your boyfriend and his exs relationship?
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
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    Quote Originally Posted by turtle View Post
    I've never been in this situation before but, how is your boyfriend and his exs relationship?
    He gets frustrated with her alot but they're pretty civil when I see them together. Like he'll bring we smokes when dropping the kids off, one time she sent him a little note with the baby when he came like "Read this book, it made me think f you and I know you'll love it." ... I do somewhat feel threatened by her, like they were together for 5 years, have children together. And I'm the first woman he's been with seriously since thu broke up a year ago ... So needless to say I was honest in saying it would be awkward.

  4. #4
    kayt Guest
    i think it was a bit childish, not only did you put her out but also the kids. i'm sure they would have preferred to stay with their dad in a time like that.

  5. #5
    DoTheDamnThing Guest
    I think the situation is a lot different when there's a relationship with kids from a prior relationship involved. It's his house and his kids I don't think your opinion should have been the determining factor. You should have been more supportive. If it was temporary you should suck it up...for the kids you claim to love.

    Weren't you and your boyfriend breaking up because he didn't want you to live with him?

  6. #6
    Ummm no, not at all. Especially if you and your bf live together, why on earth should his ex get to stay at your home? There is no obligation for you to let her to be there. You didn't say no to the kids (which would be awful), just this woman your bf used to have a serious relationship with. I don't blame you in the slightest.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    5,602
    Yeah you're a bitch for that. And so what if she "just" burned down her kitchen? Smoke can linger for a long time after a fire. Would you want your kids exposed to that?

    I also don't know why people are saying that your boyfriend and his ex seem to have a "weird relationship," unless they're basing this on things you've said in other threads. Sounds pretty normal for someone to be worried about their kids' mother, even if they're broken up.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    Yeah you're a bitch for that. And so what if she "just" burned down her kitchen? Smoke can linger for a long time after a fire. Would you want your kids exposed to that?

    I also don't know why people are saying that your boyfriend and his ex seem to have a "weird relationship," unless they're basing this on things you've said in other threads. Sounds pretty normal for someone to be worried about their kids' mother, even if they're broken up.
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  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    2,409
    yeah that's pretty bitchy. i understand you being uncomfortable with it (who wouldn't be?), but it's his house and the mother of his children. it's an awkward situation for everyone involved but i think it's one you need to be ready to face when you decide to move into the house of a man with children from a prior relationship.
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  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    Yeah, you kind of are. It may be "awkward" for you but it would be a million times worse for her. It would probably only be for a few days and if you can make room for her kids then I'm sure you can make room for her. So yeah, it being "awkward" is not a legitimate reason.
    Alexithymia is a term coined by Peter Sifneos in 1973 to describe a state of deficiency in understanding, processing, or describing emotions. It's pronounced uh-lecks-uh-thigh-me-uh.

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  11. #11
    Strawberrie Guest
    I'm not sure if you were right or wrong, but in your place I would have done the same thing. Anyways, if it was that big of a deal your boyfriend should have made you let them stay at your place. Red Cross isn't that bad. Plus she could have given you the kids if she cared about them that much.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    May 2009
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    1,001
    i can definitely see where you're coming from, but yeah. bitch move. her kitchen caught on fire. that's a really big deal, and i imagine it would be incredibly stressful. a nice place to stay would have been nice, and i think it's pretty rude of you to kick her out.

    but what's done is done.
    LAUREN!

    "its not that i don't know what i'm supposed to say, but there's no border patrol in my head that says which words should leave or stay unsaid."

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
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    6,971
    I feel like we're missing part of the story. Did you outright say no, or did you just express your feeling that it'd be awkward, and he took that as a no?
    "Goin' on a year now I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!" Kaylee-Serenity

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  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    12,506
    yes
    stop whining. Make life your bitch.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
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    i feel like if you felt threatened/intimidated by her, letting her come live with you and have to watch you be all coupley with her ex would be quite satisfying

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