My Jelly Bean

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2009

    Longest someone should be engaged

    Im sure this has been asked before but maybe some of your opinions have changed...

    How long is too long (in your opinion) to be engaged for? a year? 2 years? 3 or more etc.

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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    I think it depends on the wedding. An average wedding takes roughly a year to plan so I feel like longer than that isn't really necessary. I guess it all really depends on the couples though.
    Member since the "yellow boards" :]

  3. #3
    kayt Guest
    how ever long the couple needs to be engaged. doesn't really matter to me how long people take once they're engaged, not really any of my business.

  4. #4
    I'm confused as to why people think a year is too long? I want a decently sized wedding which will probs require a lot of planning/saving for it, so i always figured i'd get engaged and get married like a year and a half later to have lotsa time to plan, and good venues sometimes have a long wait.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    I've been engaged for a year and we're just starting to think about planning it all. I'm still at university so we need to know whether I'll have a job when I've finished (this year) and where we will be based as we're moving to a different place in a couple of months. The organiser I bought says to allow for 12 months for planning the wedding so we probably won't be married until 2014.

    Like most others have said, it depends on the couple and their situation.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    I don't think it can ever be too long. When you get engaged I don't think you need to be ready at that moment to get married. Yes, you have to see yourself getting married to that person, but not right then. Idk. I want to be engaged for 3-4 years. My grandparents were engaged for 22 years...yeah that might be pushing it but they just never got arround to getting married.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Quote Originally Posted by Ayesha S. View Post
    I think anything more than a year is way too much... But to be honest, I think like 6 months is the perfect time. But then again I'm 18 and know next to nothing about marriage, and in my culture being engaged for more than 6 months is kind of weird...
    alot of venues are booked up a year ahead, 6 months is pretty unrealistic for wedding planning I think.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    I think two years is the longest, because I think if you're not realistically in a position to be planning and getting married, then there's no point in getting engaged.

  9. #9
    Hallie Guest
    how ever long they want to be engaged for

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    I don't think it really matters, but I would say longer than two years seems kind of pointless.
    What happens in the heart simply happens.

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Crystαℓ View Post
    I think two years is the longest, because I think if you're not realistically in a position to be planning and getting married, then there's no point in getting engaged.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    We will be engaged for 20 months, which is longer than I would have liked, but it's how things worked out. I would have preferred closer to the year mark. But the reality is, there is no perfect amount of time generally, and the circumstances are different for everyone.

    People who get engaged with no plan to start planning a wedding or even get married get a side eye from me. You get engaged because you're ready to get married, not because you just want a pretty ring and a fiance.
    So this is life, eh? Hmm, I'm surprised; not what I was expecting. I guess I'll roll with the punches, and take it one day at a time. I'll find love where I least expect it. I'll laugh till I cry. I'll make the best of every moment. And most importantly, on the day I die, I guess I'll be able to look back and say, "Damn, what a ride!".

    RIP My darling. We'll all miss you, now until forever.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Blog Entries
    We'll be engaged for 3-5 years by the time we tie the knot. It's my school mostly in the way. I go to school eight hours away from home. So getting married now isn't really all that practical. I have to do a year or two of grad school for my master's after that, which I am trying to do nearer to home, but we'll see. We got engaged last June haven't made an official announcement of it yet though.

    We know we want to get married, just circumstances that our beyond our control really (I'm dependant on scholarship money at my current school) are keeping us from doing what we want to do.

    Proud to be a MASS-HOLE.

    ROCK ON!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    May 2011
    i wouldnt go around telling people i was engaged until i had a ring and we were ready to plan for a wedding, but as far as privately we can agree that we want to get married "at some point". i wouldnt really care about someone else's engagement unless they were super young in which case i would probably roll my eyes. usually when i hear that other people are engaged i dont notice or keep track of how long it lasts. two of my good friends from college were engaged for a year and a half before they got married and it honestly seemed like it was a few months lol
    the early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Quote Originally Posted by Joanne View Post
    For me it's not necessarily if you take a long time between getting engaged and getting married, it's the time between getting engaged and actually booking it.
    I agree with this. An old coworker of mine got engaged about 2 years ago and is getting married next month. She was a few months away from finishing college when he proposed, and wanted to wait until she graduated to do most of the planning. She went and booked her venues right away, though, and basically brainstormed ideas while she was still in school.

    I guess I just think it's weird when people are stuck in the "let's just talk about it" phase of the engagement for long periods of time.
    "You guys are basically dating. You went to the grocery store to get stuff to make tacos. You don't do that with someone you're just banging!"

    My best friend Brinny says, "Oh, she's just being Meli."


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