My Jelly Bean

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  1. #31
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Blog Entries
    9 or 10. I can't even remember why it started. I know my mother used to say awful things to me growing up. She's always been overweight and used to get angry with me and tell me how my life would be so easy because I was thin, highschool would be great because I was thin, I would be popular etc etc. Then take me shopping and tell me I looked pregnant or comment on how I was gaining weight.

    By 5th grade I had full blown Anorexia, even though I had no weight to lose. 7th grade I went through puberty and the summer after I stopped eating again and lost 20 pounds. I made it through highschool mostly okay, I'm 22 and I have it under control but I still think I'm fat and consider going back to ED on my low days.
    Your scream is burning through my veins.

    Live fast, die pretty.

    "The knight departing for new adventures offends his lady, yet she has nothing but contempt for him if he remains at her feet" Simone de Beauvoir.

    ARP <3 Come back to me.

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    I guess I started age 9. I had my growthspurt early and was waaaay taller than almost everyone at my school (and I was in the youngest year group, so yeah).... that went on until I was about 12/13 when finally my peers caught up. It's funny because I'm only 5'7", not that tall imo but I've been that height for a very long time, so.
    I also had really big feet (well, long and narrow) from a young age (thanks dad!), getting any sort of footwear that actually fit was REALLY hard and that made me extremely self-concious as a child too.

  3. #33
    There was maybe a couple years in highschool i was a bit self conscious but i'm generally pretty happy with my body. I will never be 6 feet tall and 120 lbs, but i'm okay with that. For the most part i've embraced my body and just try to stay healthy and set goals in running to keep improving my fitness.

  4. #34
    DetailsInTheFabric Guest
    As melodramatic as this sounds, I've never been happy with my body.
    I told my mom I thought I was fat for the first time when I was 5. I've never felt comfortable in my body, even though people tell me I'm healthy and I'm at a good weight for my height. I started getting obsessive somewhere around 10-12 and when I was 14 the eating disorder started.
    I'm still not over it. I'm still not happy. I honestly don't know when it's gonna end and it fukcing sucks.

    ...end rant.

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    I became self-conscious when I was around 10 or 11. Some guys in my class called me fat (even though I was legit skinny), which created this fear inside my head for about two years that I was massively huge and no one would tell me. I also hated my boobs for a while because they were smaller than all the other girls lol.

    Around 16 or 17 I started loving my body, but once I graduated high school and started college I gained a little weight. Now I'm self conscious again because my stomach has never been this flabby. I hate it so I just started exercising to see if I can tone it up a bit.

  6. #36
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Around 8-10. I can't remember exactly when. I got chubby and my mom put me on a diet, so I started paying attention to my body a lot.

  7. #37
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Probably last year when it really started. This year it's gotten worse. I'm not overweight or anything, I just don't like my body really at all. I used to not mind it.
    Formerly TotalImmortal.

  8. #38
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    i was never really self conscious, i was very comfortable in my own skin. that is, until i met my ex fiance.
    his reason for breaking off the engagement was, and i quote, "when i saw you on leave (he was in the military) you had gained so much weight and it freaked me out. i don't want to be with someone who's fat, unmotivated, and lazy like you."
    Dressed to kill.
    R.I.P. K.C.
    +6000 posts.

  9. #39
    Passions Guest
    18. I gained 15 pounds in one year, which basically killed my self-esteem.

  10. #40
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    I think it was around 3rd grade. I remember being really self conscious when buying a new bathing suit. Of course, I was a way too early bloomer, so I was always bigger than everyone else. Then I also had more leg hair and whatnot. I didn't worry as much about being "too fat" until about 5th grade. We were laying on our sides in gym class and this girl told me I had a big butt. It's silly to think about now, because really I just have wide hips; my ass itself isn't big and hasn't ever been. But it got to me at the time. Then in middle school my fat feeling really intensified. Probably because of all the skinny girls around. It's a little sad to think it's been so many years since I've been carefree about my body.
    "I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to too."

  11. #41
    I remember when I was 10 I had this blue shirt that was my absolute favorite and then I looked to see what it looked like from behind and I seen my hips. They were enormus. It was terrible. I never wore that shirt again. And now, ever since that day i've hated my hips :/ I also started wearing make up in grade 6 because everyone made fun of my dark circles and called me raccoon girl. Kids are horrible.

  12. #42
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Blog Entries
    I got pretty insecure with my body about three years ago when my boobs suddenly went from a B to a DD...and when I mean suddenly, I mean within a month. It was just kind of weird for me because it happened so fast and none of my shirts were fitting right anymore and people were constantly commenting on it. And then last year I started gaining a lot of weight. I have always had a fast metabolism and was always working out because of cheerleading before college and could eat fast food everyday and still be a stick. I gained about 20lbs since the beginning of college to now (three years). Right now I'm trying very, very hard to lose all that weight as I've been pretty damn self conscious about it for quite some time. I'm working out daily and eating a very clean diet and I feel very good about myself for the first time in awhile.

  13. #43
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    I never really cared that much about what I looked like until about a year or two ago when I put on a little weight. At first I didn't care but then the comments I used to get in regards to my figure and about how nice it was stopped. I know it sounds shallow and like I need people to compliment me all the time but the lack of comments made me really self-conscious, I knew I'd put on weight but didn't really talk about it, the fact no-one made comments on how skinny I was kind of reaffirmed what I already knew, I was getting chubby.

    Now I hate how I look, I'm always looking in shop windows/mirrors to check whether my stomach is still tucked away, I'll put on an outfit and think I look great then when I randomly catch my reflection when I'm out in public I recoil a little.

  14. #44
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    i started being a bit insecure around 10/11 probably. i didn't get seriously insecure about my body til 14/15 though, around when i developed a bit of an eating disorder. i'm not that insecure anymore and i haven't tried to starve myself in at least a few years.
    Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.


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