January 15, 2011 04:47 PM
My boyfriend is leaving for 6 weeks
..across the country for work.
He's leaving tonight and I'm already so sad and I know I'm going to miss him way too much.
Any ideas of how to stay busy and not be so depressed about it?
I keep telling myself it's only 6 weeks, he'll be back, etc, but its not really helping
We live together and I feel like even when he's gone for a few days at a time the house is lonely and empty. I like my space too so sometimes it's nice to just hog everything, but waking up without feeling him there beside me is the worst. Or usually I'd wait for him to come home after work, and it's like I'll be just waiting and then going to sleep alone. maybe i'm being over-dramatic, but any suggestions on how to get over this would be appreciated
January 15, 2011 10:51 PM
January 15, 2011 11:05 PM
Maybe you could do things that you would do if you were always alone,like some alone-time for now.. like watching movies,relaxing,taking a nice bath,making your nails to occupy yourself not to feel alone,read a book,call an old friend and maybe spend time with them when your boyfriend will be gone to keep you company so you wouldn't notice that you are alone at all,you could maybe even organize sleepovers with them,go out,shop,go to a friends house or a party..
January 15, 2011 11:09 PM
Last year my boyfriend at the time of a year moved in with me during college. His mom lost her job so he had to go back home to the state he lives in so we had to do long distance until it fell apart 8 months later.
I won't lie. It's hard. You'll cry a lot and feel like sh!t.
Can you skype him? That really helped me. At night, we'd both skype each other from bed and then go to sleep with skype on (computer on the bedside table) so that when you roll over and feel nobody there, you can still see his face. It was very comforting. Also, being intimate over skype can be helpful. I would always let my boyfriend watch me shower over skype and he would do his funny naked dance for me. It's really the little things that keep you going.
And as you already know, stay busy. Work or college can be helpful to get your mind off of how much you miss him. Hang out with friends and have a life outside your relationship. Don't spend your time waiting for him to come online or waiting for him to call. Do something. Keep reminding yourself that 6 weeks isn't really that long. It's just a month and a half, right?
I hope this helped some. I know how you're feeling. You really have to experience what it's like to have someone you live with be stripped from you to understand. Especially when it comes to intimacy and the comfort of having someone you love sleeping by your side every night.
January 15, 2011 11:21 PM
I really don't have any words of advice beside keep yourself busy and talk to him when you can. Also just keep reminding yourself when he will be home, maybe even create a countdown calendar to remind you the joy of him coming back.
I wish I could provide more insight, but at least I can sympathize with you. Tomorrow I'm flying back home to my family to live with them while I try to rebuild myself financially. Unfortunately for me that means I'm going to be 2500 miles away from my boyfriend. I'm definitely going to miss him a lot. I'm not sure when we're going to see each other next, but I'm hoping to come back for a friend's wedding in May and then my boyfriend said he wanted to try to get a summer internship in my hometown county. So I just keep hoping both, or at least one, are possible!
Formerly ReadingRainbow and Photo Lass.
January 15, 2011 11:26 PM
Several things that have helped when my boyfriend's been away for months at a time:
2. Write each other letters and send them in the mail with something small like a key chain.
3. Pick up a new hobby and get decent at it to show him when he gets back.
January 15, 2011 11:51 PM
thanks for all the advice, especially the skype idea! we're going to send lots of texts and emails, but live webcaming is probably the next best thing to seeing each other in person. i've already created a coundown calendar lol and im being lazy and sad tonight (allowing myself 1 day only) then tomorrow im going to try to stay really active and get out of the house, maybe stay at a friends' or parent's place for a couple nights just for something different.
glad to hear im not the only one going though something like this- thanks again, i appreciate it
January 16, 2011 02:08 AM
My boyfriend gets back on he 26th of February as well
only 41 days to go! lol
It especially sucks because i just lost my job a week ago, so I don't even have that to distract myself. Looking for work takes some time, but it's not the same as a full 40-hr work week with people I already know. sigh.
January 16, 2011 02:25 AM
Originally Posted by BoredAtWork
Well i just had to deal with being away from my boyfriend for 3 months, then he came back for 11 days during winter, and now he's gone till next winter unless he gets approved for a leave of absence during summer..
It's incredibly ****ty, what's the time difference between you guys? If it's not too bad, then it will probably be easier to schedule skype sessions and stuff!
When he first moved, i was incredibly sad because although we didn't leave together like you guys, i was at his house all day and on the phone all night till we went to sleep.. which is kinda the same thing? So yeah i missed the fact that i could just talk to him whenever about little things that i found interesting, which i'm sure will be the factor that will most affect you since you guys live together - what i did was, everytime i wanted to talk to him about soemthing, but i couldnt get him, i would write a letter to him, seal it and put it in a box, (you could write in a book or soemething). Then when he comes back you can both read them together or soemthing?
You could also do date nights, once every two weeks - so you have a sure thing to look forward to, which is short term, instead of only looking forward to the end of the 6 weeks.. you know?
Mm.. well in the end, it's only 6 weeks, it'll fly by after the first week.. if it doesnt.. well.. take advantage of your family and friends!
January 16, 2011 02:39 AM
sorry to hear that I can't even imagine how hard it would be to be apart for that long. Although I'm guessing/hoping that it gets at least a bit easier with time?
I know what you mean about just wanting to have someone to talk to about little things any time and being used to it- I like your letter or book idea though, I can see how that could help.
We have a 4-hour time difference- which isn't terrible, but makes things a little bit more complicated.
I hope your boyfriend can get a leave during the summer! What does he do, if you don't mind me asking? Mine is in the navy so he pretty much has to go wherever they send him whenever. We'd been lucky for the last year because he hadn't really had to go anywhere until now
January 16, 2011 03:58 AM
He's just started University, but he's doing this accelerated program which has him at school consistently fr 22 months, he only got 2 weeks off for winter
Originally Posted by BoredAtWork
Ugh, the uncertainty of not knowing when and where your boyfriend would have to go next would sadden me.
I always wonder.. and i hope this is not a stupid question.. but what do people Actually do at the navy? Like day to day tasks?
January 16, 2011 10:10 PM
Sorry to hear that- I can't even imagine having to be apart for that long
Ugh 22 months straight of school! at least that must mean he'll be done his program a lot faster which hopefully means you two can be together again sooner.
Lol that's not a stupid question at all. Before I met my bf I would've had no idea what someone in the Navy does. I was also kind of anti-military (meh, still am) I'm sure what they do depends on the individual jobs, but my bf and his co-workers seem to almost always be doing 'training'. So basically a classroom setup, but navy-related programs. When he gets back from his courses in Halifax he'll be doing a dive-course- basically training to become a ship diver. When he's not training or studying, he could be on duty or on watch, basically one of the people in command of the ship while it's in the harbour. Most of the work he does is on the ship, and people report to him. This is all in preparation for deployment (sailing overseas for months at a time, monitoring the coast for illegal drug-trade, meeting with other countries' navies, or whatever they're needed for)
January 17, 2011 11:21 AM
i just started dating a new guy.. he is leaving for afganistan at the end of march for an entire year. i dont know how i will handle this
January 17, 2011 03:12 PM
are you going to attempt to keep the relationship going long-distance?
Originally Posted by One Last Kiss
i've heard stories of long-distance relationships either working and being really rewarding in the end, or just not working at all.. it really depends on the people involved.
that being said, i really miss my bf and it's only been 2 days!
at least when you miss someone it makes you appreciate them more i guess.
January 17, 2011 10:55 PM
it's only six weeks. you can be as dramatic or searching as you want about it. after the six weeks nonetheless, you'll be over it.
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