August 29, 2010 06:39 PM
most of the thread is me forcing myself to vent, the bold is impt.
we both leave for school in a week, and established from the beginning it'd be over when we leave/long distance is not an option.
last year i kept envisioning us having a cute goodbye, and was really disappointed when it didn't happen.
but this time around i don't think i can do the whole goodbye. i have this uncontrollable urge to just leave without saying anything. a small part of me has an urge to go hook up with someone else right now, which i think will be multiplied if i get drunk
I lost my virginity to him less than two weeks ago, i feel like i should feel erratic, and longing, that's how i've always been in these kinds of situations. but i don't. i just feel nothing.
one side of me is saying, spend all the time you can with him this week/keep having great sex/just take advantage of the last week.. but my gut is screaming run away and don't look back. that sounds so retarded but i'm having a hard time wording this.
when i do see him i keep getting really angry at him. i never get angry, i get upset.
i'm the type of girl who sits and thinks about how amazing a bitter sweet goodbye will be, but i'm trying to rush this thread so i can stop thinking about it.
Like wtf would we say.. yeah so bye. see ya. should i just leave? i think he would prefer it that was too. what would you do/say?
Have you ever had to say goodbye to someone? How did they act? How did you act? If you've ever been in an on again off again type of thing what was the worst way it ended? what was the best?
August 29, 2010 08:18 PM
My boyfriend and I are doing long distance and I cried. It was really emotional.
Do you even care about him? It seems like you don't if you're wanting to just leave/hook up with someone else. He would prefer it if you guys didn't say goodbye as would you? That seems messed up. I don't know... if you're deciding not to do long distance and it doesn't bother you then I probably would have broken it off sooner and had an official break up.
August 30, 2010 12:55 AM
I don't have any desire to hook up with anyone else, i just feel like i should to make it more over. i'm aware its retarded/makes no sense, and i know i wouldn't go through with it.
Originally Posted by Missy138
I've been trying to write this paragraph for almost 2 hours lol. I feel like if you know me, and i say i lost my virginity to him it would be self explanatory how much i care about him.
I tried to end it two weeks ago because things were getting better and better between us, but i kept telling myself i didn't really know if he cared about me. When I ended it my friends told me that I knew how he felt, and it was at the point where nothing he could do would convince me/he was getting to the point where he felt like he couldn't win because it was my own insecurity, and that if I couldn't fix it then it was best to end it but it had nothing to do with him anymore. It took A LOT for me to accept that I knew he felt the same way. idk maybe it's cause i have anxiety, but when i'm with him I KNOW how much he likes me, but when I get home I start to be like "well you can never really know cause it could be a lie" then if he does anything that isn't exactly the affirmation i need at that second, I start thinking "he doesn't actually like you he's faking it." So it was kind of an lol in an anon fotki when someone said I should let down my guard or something, and I realized i'm going to prob keep having these half assed things with guys unless I risked the chance that I was wrong and decided I liked him enough to risk being wrong. So when I was with him and I was like I do know how he feels/I know I feel the same/I want to have sex I did it. Since then every so often I still am like "he was just faking it ahh" or I start to think he stopped liking me. So I don't think I'll ever do long distance until I become less crazy/or decide it's worth the anxiety because i'm going to marry them.
he also has a ton of issues/feels similar about long distance.
idk why i wrote that out. I'll prob keep that around to reread in a few months when i start thinking i imagined it lol.
anyways I just remember how hard it was to get over him last summer, so knowing how much things have changed this summer i think the whole goodbye is going to make it harder.
saying goodbye to a boyfriend in a LDR is different though, you cry cause you'll miss them. but this is more like i'm going to miss you/i know things won't be the same.
August 30, 2010 07:03 AM
It's too bad you can't try the long distance.
and maybe I missunderstood, but did you say goodbye? or just leave?
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