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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    173

    Liking a guy who has a girlfriend

    Is the worst thing ever ughhhh. This guy and I have become really good friends this year. Obvs for me the feelings have gone beyond friendship... All of our mutual friends agree that we would be so good together. Only problem is he has a girlfriend who he's been with for ~5 months, and he seems so happy with her.... Arghhhhh.
    Anyone ever been in this situation?

  2. #2
    Wow I'm in the exact situation. He knows that I like him though, and he has no problem with it at all. He still talks to me like normal.

    Because he has a girlfriend though, I never initiate things. Talking, for example... he's always the one who initiates conversations. I don't feel right initiating things when I know that he knows I like him. I just don't like the feeling. BUT he talks to me every single day ().

    He's really a good guy so it's hard for me to get over him. Even though he knows that I like him, he doesn't make things awkward at all. He just makes silly jokes about it, which i never get sick of lol.

    He does tell me things though that I think he shouldn't since he does have a girlfriend. Like he tells me that he misses me, that I have a really cute personality, that he likes me a lot, that he loves talking to me, etc. But it prob mean nothing at all since he's still with his gf lol. Oh well.

    This was sorta like a huge rant. Sorry. Now tell me details about your situation!!
    Watching the whole world move in slow-mo'

    formely: Amitabh?!

  3. #3
    Mariamzz Guest
    I was in a situation like that when I was a bit younger. I liked my best friend's boyfriend, and he liked me as well. But both him and his girlfriend had kinda lost feelings for each other at that point.

    I think that it all depends on who he likes more and who he chooses to be with. If he chooses to stay with her, then you have to make peace with it and move on.

  4. #4
    You can only wait it out. Either they'll break up, or you'll get over him, or both.
    I was in this situation a while back. I was like, head over heels for my friend who was in a relationship, and I stayed that way for the first 9 months of their relationship. It was a terrible feeling, hanging out with them, even though I knew he still might have feelings for me.
    I stopped talking to him at all, eventually I got over him before they broke up at 1 year 2 months. Fun fact: I'm dating him now
    Love like you've never been hurt and dance till dawn like you've just been born.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    1,407
    YES and it DEFINITELY sucks. Two years of that ****. I got lucky and it ended up all being worthwhile though. Just be patient and classy.
    Iceland is my home: Sigur Rós, Seabear, and múm.

    Learn to run when feeling the pain: then push harder.
    William Sigei

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    173
    Yeah, I'm trying to wait it out and be classy about it, it just feels like he's leading me on...we were at a party last night (his girlfriend wasn't there) and he just hung out with me all night, and was being verrry cute... I hate this!
    He doesn't know I like him, because last time I liked a guy friend and told him it blew up in my face, he rejected me and it totally shot my confidence in that area. I just wish he knew, we would be so perfect together...hopefully it turns out like some of your situations and we end up together

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by cardigan View Post
    Yeah, I'm trying to wait it out and be classy about it, it just feels like he's leading me on...we were at a party last night (his girlfriend wasn't there) and he just hung out with me all night, and was being verrry cute... I hate this!
    He doesn't know I like him, because last time I liked a guy friend and told him it blew up in my face, he rejected me and it totally shot my confidence in that area. I just wish he knew, we would be so perfect together...hopefully it turns out like some of your situations and we end up together
    if he's a genuinely a good guy/friend, he won't make a big deal about it. that other guy was probably a jerk.
    Watching the whole world move in slow-mo'

    formely: Amitabh?!

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Pendulum View Post
    You can only wait it out. Either they'll break up, or you'll get over him, or both.
    I was in this situation a while back. I was like, head over heels for my friend who was in a relationship, and I stayed that way for the first 9 months of their relationship. It was a terrible feeling, hanging out with them, even though I knew he still might have feelings for me.
    I stopped talking to him at all, eventually I got over him before they broke up at 1 year 2 months. Fun fact: I'm dating him now
    This is the point I was just about to make. 5 months is piddly. They might not even make it much longer so I wouldn't write him off completely. Stay close friends but don't interfere.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    173
    Thanks guys... Yeah, the other guy who I told I now realize is a bit of a jerk, but it really just made our friendship awkward for a long time...we're just now starting to talk again.
    I know 5 months isn't really a lot and I shouldn't get too upset but I can't help it... It was like before he started dating her, I just saw him as a friend but now that he's with her I'm realizing what I'm missing...kinda the "you want what you can't have" kinda thing.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    2,384
    I liked a guy who had a girlfriend for 4 years. Don't get me wrong, I had boyfriends throughout those 4 years and didn't take it too seriously until I was moving away to college and he was finally single. Our relationships kept overlapping before. I'd date someone and after just a week or two of dating he'd break up with the girl he was with. Before I went away to college I was freaking out because I wanted to kiss him before I left at least. I broke up with my boyfriend and did. We've been together ever since. I had to wait until it was okay to do it and I liked him enough to break up with my then boyfriend to try things out with. I think if he's into you he'll break up with his girlfriend.

  11. #11
    justbelieve Guest
    yupp. when i was in gade 10 i fell in love with this guy who was in grade 12 who had been with his girl for almost 2 years and eventually she broke up with him probly because of me and we started dating a month later. Just stick it out and see what happens but dont shut down others because you have your heart set out to be with him

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    173
    Thanks for all the advice, guys. I'm glad it worked out for a lot of you...and Dardarbrown I hope it works out for you eventually!
    I want to try to get over him, but at the same time I almost don't, because I feel like there is such a possibility there for something amazing. I'm going to try to keep my distance because I don't want to be 'that girl' who meddles in a relationship.
    Ughhh it's so hard though...my best friends think we're soulmates lol.

  13. #13
    ii-wiishxx Guest
    i am in that excat situation right now. the guy i like has been dating his girlfriend for about 7 months. they are sooo in love, and a really cute couple. i've known him for about 2 year, but only recently gotten to really know him more and hang out with him during the summer. he's an amazing guy. super nice, and funny. i feel we have a strong connection, but i know its only a friendship. it's hard, i tell myself that they are so perfect for each other yet i want to be with him so bad. she's currently out of the country, so he has had more time to hang out, but when she's back i don't think i'll get a chance to see him that often.

    i guess waiting is the key to this situation. what so bad with being best friends anyways right? aha, who am i kidding.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    173
    Quote Originally Posted by ii-wiishxx View Post
    i am in that excat situation right now. the guy i like has been dating his girlfriend for about 7 months. they are sooo in love, and a really cute couple. i've known him for about 2 year, but only recently gotten to really know him more and hang out with him during the summer. he's an amazing guy. super nice, and funny. i feel we have a strong connection, but i know its only a friendship. it's hard, i tell myself that they are so perfect for each other yet i want to be with him so bad. she's currently out of the country, so he has had more time to hang out, but when she's back i don't think i'll get a chance to see him that often.

    i guess waiting is the key to this situation. what so bad with being best friends anyways right? aha, who am i kidding.
    Holy sh*t...just reading this, it is actually my EXACT situation. We've known each other about a year, became good friends this summer. His girlfriend is out of the country now, but will be back in September for school. We have a crazy strong connection...agh we are like the same person! or the guy is :O hahaha. I guess waiting is all we can do

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    3,548
    I've been in this situation, but I was the girlfriend. My advice, don't do anything about it. There were these two girls (separate times) who liked my boyfriend and I picked up on it. Once I found out they for sure liked my boyfriend, I made it well aware that he has feelings for me only, and not them. You know, kissing him in front of them, staying close to him, etc.

    Point is, just wait it out until they (if they do) break up, or your feelings pass.

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