how long before you'd call it quits?

[Last.Summer]

i met this guy 3 years ago. At the time, he had just gotten out of a failed engagement, because his fiance had cheated on him with a friend. He had commitment issues at the time which i didn't understand, at least until I had a failed engagement myself. All that aside, we've been seeing each other, without any labels or anything, on and off for these past 3 years. I've asked him before, a few months ago, if we were just a booty call to each other. He assured me, like he has every time ive ever asked him, that he is both physically, sexually, and emotionally attracted to me, that he does like me and isn't seeing anyone else, its just the label or exclusiveness that freaks him out, because he's so scared to be hurt again. He knows I would never hurt him, and i never have these past 3 years. I'm just getting to the point now where I'd like so much to be official, or exclusive with each other, that i'm getting frustrated with what we've been doing. I'm planning on talking to him about it in person, just a "wtf are we doing?" type thing. My question is, how long would you guys do this before calling it quits? Would you give up if he kept giving you the same answer?

[Dnomla Allinav]

I would have called it quits a very, very long time ago lol. I would never wait more than a year to be exclusive. I'm sorry but by one year a guy should know me well enough to know I'm not going to purposely hurt him, and if he hasn't realized that I'm worth being exclusive with yet (but I suppose why would you when I've waited around for a whole year!) then he's not worth it.

And if by one year you're still afraid to "get hurt" then you shouldn't be dating anyone anyway.

[whiteoleander]

it seems like hes just not that into you

[GingerSpice]

Yeah I would have called it quits a long time ago. If he's not ready to commit to you after 3 years, I don't think he ever will be.

[Crystαℓ]

I'd have given up already, don't waste anymore time. Its not gonna happen and he's just making excuses.

I can never take the whole "I won't put a label on it cause im scared of getting hurt" thing seriously, it doesn't make any sense. If you've been with someone for awhile and care about them, you're gonna get hurt if they leave whether you had labeled your relationship or not, refusing to label it doesn't make you immune to feelings. To me its just an excuse to be able to say he's single in case something better comes along.

[Last.Summer]

All of your answers are exactly why I'm so frustrated. Like, come on dude its been 3 freaking years. Get over whatever happened, I did. And then he wonders why I constantly ask him if I'm just a booty call, though we have only had sex three times the entire 3 years, we mostly just makeout which is whatever in my opinion. I'm just sick of wondering what if, and what the hell

[Castles]

I've been in that situation but never for 3 years. You need to make yourself scarcE. If he really cares about you he will step it up and if not then it's best that you don't spend another 3 years being a back up plan.

[Veritaserum]

Has he had other relationships during those three years? I mean, anything past a fling?

[Last.Summer]

Has he had other relationships during those three years? I mean, anything past a fling?

To my knowledge, No he hasn't.

[MonitorLostPostcards]

Yeah, I'd give him an ultimatum. I would've a couple months in. Time to move on if he can't commit.

[OffendedWarrior]

I'm with everyone else. Way too long to wait around on someone.