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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    714

    If you think about someone everyday for over a year...

    Is that love? Or obsession?
    Does it matter the context that it's in? If some of your best and worst days of your life were because of him, he was your first boyfriend, and you remember every moment you spent together, even though you only dated for a short time, is it still just lust? How do you get over someone like that?

  2. #2
    hippyprincess Guest
    if it's someone you barely know then it's an obsession. and if you're thinking awful things about that person then it's an obsession too.

  3. #3
    Hallie Guest
    It could be but that's not a good deciding factor. It depends how you feel, not how often you feel it.

  4. #4
    alm0ndmilk Guest
    I'd say if it's the memories you have of him and things about his personality that you can't stop thinking about, then it's love.

    It becomes obsession when its excessive and interfering with your daily life.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    714
    I'd say if it's the memories you have of him and things about his personality that you can't stop thinking about, then it's love.

    This. We've known each other for 2 years but we only dated about a month. and then he broke up with me and moved later that year. He came back to visit 6 months ago and we hung out and basically acted like we were dating again except we seemed to get even closer. That probably wasn't a step in the right direction towards getting over him but I don't regret it. Except now it's made it that much harder to forget about him. I unfriended him from Facebook and I don't think about him as much now but I still miss him everyday. I just think it's stupid when people say "I love you" after they've been dating for a month and I don't want to be like that but I guess I really do love him. I've never met anyone like him and I don't want to forget how he made me feel because I think the only way I'll truly get over him is to find someone who makes me feel the same way. And I know that he doesn't feel as strongly because he's had other girlfriends after me and he doesn't try to keep in touch. Can anyone sympathize or offer some good advice about how to not let it get me down all the time? I feel so pathetic and overdramatic and emotional about it. I just want to move on and find someone better that's worth my time. :/

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    6,543
    Quote Originally Posted by DanceInside View Post
    I'd say if it's the memories you have of him and things about his personality that you can't stop thinking about, then it's love.

    This. We've known each other for 2 years but we only dated about a month. and then he broke up with me and moved later that year. He came back to visit 6 months ago and we hung out and basically acted like we were dating again except we seemed to get even closer. That probably wasn't a step in the right direction towards getting over him but I don't regret it. Except now it's made it that much harder to forget about him. I unfriended him from Facebook and I don't think about him as much now but I still miss him everyday. I just think it's stupid when people say "I love you" after they've been dating for a month and I don't want to be like that but I guess I really do love him. I've never met anyone like him and I don't want to forget how he made me feel because I think the only way I'll truly get over him is to find someone who makes me feel the same way. And I know that he doesn't feel as strongly because he's had other girlfriends after me and he doesn't try to keep in touch. Can anyone sympathize or offer some good advice about how to not let it get me down all the time? I feel so pathetic and overdramatic and emotional about it. I just want to move on and find someone better that's worth my time. :/
    I dont think it sounds like love, it sounds like an infactuation of somesort. Either way, unhealthy. I also think thinking of someone everyday has nothing to do with being in love. It all sounds very immature, im guessing youre young? If not, and its generally getting you down after only dating a month almost a year ago you might need support, because thats not healthy.
    God got a virgin pregnant by magic. If he's not playing by the rules; nor am I.

    BUS WANKER!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    1,001
    i was in a very similar situation up until recently. except we dated for 5 months, he hasn't had other girlfriends and he talks to me everyday. I still slip up sometimes. it's really really really not good for you (or me) and, as much as i hate the term, its not healthy. i agree with everybody else. you need to f o r g e t about him. it'll be hard and it'll take time but you CAN do it. just immerse yourself in other friends and get busy. it'll help, I promise.
    LAUREN!

    "its not that i don't know what i'm supposed to say, but there's no border patrol in my head that says which words should leave or stay unsaid."

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    3,337
    a lot of people (ESPECIALLY women) miss being in a relationship more than they miss or care about the other person. this happens a lot with first relationships.

  9. #9

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  10. #10

    If you think about someone everyday for over a year

    I refuse to cede even an inch of the world to the exclusive control of the idiots.

    Brace yourself for the machaos.
    Bring it on.

    If only people would learn seforim which were off the beaten path, I could walk up to them and say, "OMG, does your wife let you learn that?"

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