The fact is...there are many sets of song lyrics I'd be justified in using as a status right now. But when I look at the music I've been listening to in the past few days, a thought haunts me...they're the songs I've been listening to in the past month or so, periodically, between those couple nights a week (sometimes even fewer) I was actually content.
There's a theory that when we find someone who meets at least 80% of our "ideal mate" criteria, we block out the rest and focus on that. The other 20% could be something we'd be very unhappy with; we don't know until we get to know the person really well, or the characteristics start sticking out more. I have a really high tolerence for bull****...I spin it onto myself, saying it's MY problem and if that I can't deal with their shortcomings, I am under par as a significant other.
Distance relationships can end for different reasons than that of typical relationships. An all-too-common theme is that, for whatever reason, one person just doesn't put in the effort. The other starts holding on too tight, trying as hard as they can to do everything that would keep things together, hoping the other will get back on the ball and everything will be okay.
I put everything into our relationship. I am going to be completely honest and say that I did so much for you, but got little in return. I was almost always the one making all the plans to get together, the one who continued to write letters and **** in hopes you wouldn't have any reason to doubt I was there and loved you. You continued not to try, and I continued to hold on tighter. I was scared to tell you that I was unhappy with how you weren't acting like I was important to you, at all. I felt undervalued, and now I feel even moreso. I tried to be everything you'd let me be for you, and you want to just give up.
All I want right now is you. There's no sense of pride or desire to appear strong and collected. I just want you back. I'd give anything for you to see that the distance you felt between us, emotionally, was just because you're stressed and tired and our relatinoship is no longer emotionally effortless. I'd give anything to see you again, to look in your eyes and see that fire we've always had. I've been strongly considering driving down tomorrow to talk things out, but I know it's a bad idea...
I don't know why, if you've never put in that kind of effort for me before, I'm hoping you'll somehow start now. That's the distance you've been feeling, is you not trying and expecting the feelings to just...be there. You need to feed things if you want them to grow.
I don't know what to do.
.:How do you wait for heaven,
and who has that much time?
And how do you keep your feet on the ground when you know
that you were born to fly?:.