My Jelly Bean


Once you learn how to die, You can learn how to live

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by on October 18, 2011 at 09:02 AM (1889 Views)
You must have noticed how I enjoy long discussions about love. How this world is becoming a playground of hate. How these cities burn with the desperation to find a love strong enough to withstand the brutal impact of a war. I just don't understand how this world has become what it is. It seems we are all fueled upon judgement, hatred, depression, regret, denial, silence. You see silence is the worst of it all. If you don't say anything no one hears what you have to say. Perhaps what you say can change someone. You may be silent because your afraid to say what you need to say. Your afraid of judgement from others. I would say you shouldn't care what people think about, but then I'd just be a hypocrite. I care what people think. Yes, sad I know. I'm afraid I'll have a reputation if I open my mouth and say the wrong thing. Words hurt and people never realize it until they have been hurt by words themselves. Words have the power of a thousand men beating you with stones. Yeah, that hurts.

If you have ever read the Notebook (or seen the movie), Romeo and Juliet, Wuthering Heights, or anything really that involves that once in a lifetime love; you will understand what I'm ranting about. Love seems to found only in story books. I used to think that meant that love is fictional. That it doesn't exist. IT DOES EXIST You shouldn't have to look for it though. If you look for it then it won't be found. Love doesn't want to be found it wants to find you. Promise me something though. Promise me once you get that once in a lifetime love you will never ever (and i mean ever) let it go. You'll know when you need to let it go but if you think you shouldn't then don't! Don't ever let go. Don't ever lose sight of whats really important. I'm not saying love is the only important thing, I mean education and a career are right up there, but all I'm saying is if something or someone is important enough don't let it go.

I feel so sad sometimes though. I haven't found anyone that will be with me like I want to be with someone, but that's okay. I have found a way on how to not look at it. I do 200 sit ups everyday before I go to bed; as well as stretch and stuff like that. I do my homework more often and I read a whole bunch. I plan on getting a Rubix Cube because when I play with those I don't think about anything except matching the colors. I'm coming back to where I moved from and I am not gonna come back until I feel like I am perfect. I want to have all the cutest clothes, the best makeup, the amazing body, everything. I just want him to see what he's missing. I just want to be perfect. Amazing. I also want to become a model at the same time too. So if any of you guys know a photographer or someone that can help me get to be a model PM me. thanks.

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