My Jelly Bean


Love Blooms <3

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by on September 26, 2011 at 08:55 AM (4826 Views)
I just had a sudden realization of the truth. :O perhaps what i felt when i was with He- who- must- not-be-named was the once in a lifetime love that you read about in books like The Notebook and Wuthering Heights. But at the same time i wonder how he could be so stupid as to let me go and leave me all alone with memories and questions as to what went so wrong. I dont deserve this. I dont deserve to have to make myself feel pretty because he made me feel ugly. How long will it be until i find happiness again. Cause i will move on whether it is with you or without you. And that feels good.

So christian thinks im really pretty and i am going to ask him out today cause i will be ungrounded this weekend and i might get to go to the movies. And i really really wanna see the Lion King again. gosh im such a dork. :P but i really really really want Christian to be mine. Because i think he is the resolution for these thought that keep reoccuring about Anthony. I just want him to make me feel better. I want him to make me laugh and put that smile on my face that used to pracically be pasted there when i was absolutely and irrevocably happy. I want him to be the one person that i think about. I just want him. ALL of him and i want it to be all MINE.

Sometimes i wonder if Anthony hadnt blown me off and destroyed my heart.....would we have been someone and.....would i have been into Christian like i am now? HMMMMM.... who knows? :\

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  1. CocoLimeVerbena's Avatar
    don't take this the wrong way, but i kind of think you're using Christian as a rebound from anthony.
  2. PaperPlanes's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by CocoLimeVerbena
    don't take this the wrong way, but i kind of think you're using Christian as a rebound from anthony.
    I dont mind i guess your right though i hadnt really seen it that way. I only saw it as my way of moving on cause a part of me doesn't expect him come back and if he doesn't i at least want to have the confidence to have any guy that i want...... :/ i dont know.....

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