May 4 , 2011
Everything was fine. it was perfect but i did the right thing in being honest. Me and Anthony were on the bus and everything was absolutely perfect we werent arguing or anything we...or i was just fine. but then he asked me if i was telling people i was gonna break up with him. and honestly i did say that but i took it back right after i said. you say things when your mad. things you dont mean. and karma came up and kicked my @ss. he broke up with me. and i went home in tears. ...

I think one night they said something important,
but I was too wrapped up in the Gone With the Wind poster
that was hung up over the couch,
and the slightly bent Breakfast Club DVD case
sitting next to me, to pay attention to what they were saying.

I’m pretty sure something else was on my mind, at that moment,
because most of the cell phones were ringing,
and you’d never guess who it was,
because it turned out to be some of my most ...

believe me i have tried and tried to find a god i can believe in and follow and do good for but it feels like no matter what nothing gets better. i dont really know why i blog all this. maybe to get sympathy or vent but i feel like no matter what i say or what i do im still me. and if im still me then im still sad. Maybe its my life. all my life i have done things for myself and when i finally let someone do something for me i expect it always even when i dont want. but i like to do things for myself ...

The Fire burns with such a light the darkness is illuminated by its orange glow

The heat of it is captivating it mesmerizes me in a way aybody will never know

The smoke lifts from the fire in slow wave

When the wind blows and smoke travels towards me I feel my lungs cave

Inside i am burnning with every breath I breathe

I wish the smoke would suround me and take away everything I need

The thoughts i think are ...

Today I just realized how much my x ment to me. When we were dating it wasnt a big deal. I was embaressed almost for honestly no reason. Hes a semi attractive guy and has a great heart. We never faught and were really close. We dated for like 3-4 months. Never had one month anvorseries or anything. He said I love like 2 weeks in. I was completly confused by it. But honestly he really truly did love me. he never pressured me to have sex and was always up to do whatever I wanted to. He listened like ...