Dear Jellybean,
I really try to look nice when I go to school or if I’m just hanging around the house or something like that, but wether it’s at home or before I go to school... my sister does not want to stop criticizing me about how I do my hair or how much eye-liner I’m wearing or if I randomly look gothic. (Don’t know where that one came from!) I’ll be getting ready in my bathroom just down the hall from the kitchen and my sister will be talking bad about me to my other sisters! I’ve tried to confront her before and she just doesn’t seem to care. She acts like I’m the runt of the family, just because I don’t have perfect skin like her or because I have brown hair instead of blonde like everyone else. I mean... it’s not my fault! I take good care of myself! I clean my face every day! And just, because my hair is dark brown and I have bangs…I’m suddenly "emo" I just don’t understand! (I don’t even self-injure!) I can’t tell my mom or dad, because they won’t do anything. Just recently, my sister who was teasing me got a makeover and I’ll say! She is absolutely gorgeous!!! People used to tell me I was pretty, and that really made her feel bad, I guess. But now that she is pretty and the NEW THING... I guess she just teases me, because she thinks she can do whatever she wants to now. Anyway, since it is at home... I have no way to escape it, so please HELP ME!!!
-Teasemagnet
Dear Teasemagnet,
Your sister is high on her makeover. She's got a new infusion of self-confidence, and it's making her brain mushy. Now she thinks she's "all that" and can give beauty pointers to other people, namely you.
You caught me in a snarky mood, so I'm going to suggest that you use humor to take your big-headed sister down a peg. She's making these comments purposefully to annoy you, so if you joke back at her, she'll see she's not getting to you - and if it doesn't make her stop, it will bug the heck out of her. Score!
So here's what to do. Next time your sister makes some critical comment about your looks, say something like, "Thanks Tyra Banks, for your totally useful makeup tips. I'm going to follow them exactly and become a whole new girl! Ooh, I feel so pretty already!" Needless to say, this should be delivered with a big smile and sarcastic tone of voice. Bonus points if you can make your other sisters laugh when you make your comeback.
Or you could target her more directly by saying, "Ever since you got that makeover, you look prettier, but you act way uglier. Maybe you need some etiquette classes to go along with your new looks, so you can learn how to talk to people."
Just be sure to show her that (1) her criticism isn't bugging you, and (2) you think she's kind of a joke when she acts that way. There's nothing that deflates an arrogant person faster, than realizing people aren't as impressed by them as they think.
