Dear Jellybean,
In our school the one of the last year classes has some people from the year below in. I'm in that class and some of the girls in the last year have started teasing one of the boys in the year below, and I can't see why. They don't have a reason and I don't get how they can do that, they got me to tease him as well once and I felt so bad because we actually made him cry and I don't understand what bullies get out of it. A couple of days ago one of them kicked him but no one knew who kicked him except me and her, but I didn't tell anyone and now they've started teasing me as well because everytime they've teased him I've stood up for him, now they've been saying that I've got a crush on him, which I have, but I still don't like them saying that because now almost everyone is teasing me and whenever we sit next to each other people act really immature. I try to ignore them but it's really hard and there's no point in telling the teachers because all they ever say is "stay away from them" but I can't because I have to sit next to them in class. I don't know what I should do about them picking on both of us.
-Hollie
Dear Hollie,
You're a total hero. It's really hard to stand up for someone who's getting picked on, especially if you're the only one doing it. So take a moment to give yourself some praise for that. I think you rock.
It's too bad your teachers won't take this problem seriously, because being picked on by the whole class can destroy a person's self-esteem and wreck their daily experience at school, not to mention messing with their grades (because they're more worried about getting kicked and bullied, than paying attention in class).
But now that this situation has become physical, I think the teachers need to hear about it one more time. Go back to the teacher who you think might be mostly likely to listen, and say, "People are picking on (the guy's name), and it's gone past words. Now that they know nobody's going to stop them, it's started to get physical." Don't name any names for now, just say that you're worried this guy is going to get beaten up or worse, if the teachers don't step in and talk to the class.
As for being teased yourself, I think you have the power within you to stand up to the teasers, and even put a stop to the teasing if you're lucky. You can't stay away from these kids, so you have to confront them. When people make fun of you, you get try a few things.
One way to approach it is, get angry. Stare the teaser right in the eyes and say in a strong, loud voice, "Shut up! I'm sick and tired of your garbage. Get a life and go bother somebody else." If they keep teasing, keep pushing them back with your words. A strong, simple comeback like, "Stop being such a jerk!" or "Stop talking, now!" can go a long way to shut down some people.
Another strategy is, act like you're oh-so-bored with the whole thing. Group teasing often happens because a pack of baboons (oops, I mean kids) gets excited by the way they can intimidate one weaker member, or get a reaction out of them. Take away their fun by changing your reaction. When they make their comments, exaggeratedly roll your eyes and say, "Oh my gosh, are you STILL talking about that? You must have a pretty boring life!" Or say sarcastically, "Wow, I've never heard that before, you are so original."
One thing: If you do see that kids are continuing to get physical with this kid in your class, and it's not stopping or the teachers aren't helping, it's time to report it to their superiors. Talk to your parents about what's happening, and explain how worried you are that this kid isn't safe in your school. Ask for their support in talking to the school principal about it. And if they won't, then you should. Everyone deserves a safe environment to learn in - that's part of what all of your parents' tax dollars are supposed to be paying for. And way to go you, for standing up to the bullies, not just on behalf of yourself, but of someone else too. That's class.
