Dear Jellybean,
Hey, My name is Jessica. I'm a student attending high school. The thing is I have very good self confidence. I don't think I'm ugly at all, and I don't think I'm gorgeous, but not ugly either. Recently my mom died, and it's been quite hard to function with. I've always been teased for having a 'wide' nose, which I don't really understand at all since it isn't that big. Recently, there's been this girl in first period. She makes fun of me behind my back, but so I can hear. She makes fun of me a lot, but never too my face, only to her friends. I don't really pay attention, but recently i'ts been bothering me. I've never met anyone with this much fun hating me. [=
I don't know what to do about this 'nose' thing. I don't honestly think it's big. HELP ME GET THIS GIRL OFF MY BACK.
-Jessica
Dear Jessica,
First of all, I'm terribly sorry to hear about your mom's death. I can't imagine anything worse. I hope that you are being supported through this experience by family members and close friends, and that you have an outlet to continually express your emotions about it. You may find it helpful to talk to someone with experience of grief and the depression that can be associated with it. There are free hotlines available where you can get confidential help - click here to find phone numbers for services in your country. There are websites out there that might help you. GROWW is an online grief recovery site for anyone who has lost someone to death. They have chatboards where you can talk to other people about the feelings you're going through, and this may help. You may also benefit from the articles/poems/etc. at websites such as Teen Grief and GriefWorks.
Now to your question about that teaser. I'm very glad to hear that you aren't letting this girl's behavior make you question your own worth, or your looks. It's really important that you don't give someone else the power to change the way you feel about yourself. You can read more about how to stay strong and keep feeling good in the Myjellybean.com article Love You! (click here).
As I see it, you have two good options for how to deal with this situation. One is, ignore that girl. She's probably trying to get a reaction out of you, because for some sick reason, that's how she gets her jollies. If she notices that you don't care a bit about what she's saying, she'll probably get bored and leave you alone. I say probably, because there are some bullies who get worse when you ignore them, but most don't.
The second option is, confront the girl who's teasing you. It doesn't matter that she's not saying her insults to your face. That just means she's a coward. She is still insulting you. Plus she probably knows about your mom, and she's still insulting you - and that makes her a really screwed-up, awful person. So if you feel that you have the strength, and it's what you want to do, the next time you overhear her saying something about your nose, speak up. You could walk up to her and say in your most confident voice, "Stop talking that way about me NOW." Or, "Who do you think you are? Stop insulting me and get a life."
If the harrassment steps/keeps up, you might have to step up your anti-insult campaign. and make fun of her right back. But do it the smart way. Read my advice to another girl, when I describe how to embarrass a bully, on this page.
