PIERCING AND MONEY PROBLEMS

Dear Jellybean,

I have two problems. One: My mom won't let me get piercings. Two: Low on cash.

For my first prob, my mom won't let me get a piercing. I want a nose piercing, and my belly button pierced. No matter how much i beg and plead, the answer is always something like leave me alone with this piercing non-sense. She doesn't understand how much i want this. Anyway, i heard that you can get a piercing without parental concent [ I am 13]. I'm not sure if it's maybe different in other states, but I live in New Jersey. Please clarify this for me. [ And if I do need parental concent, how do I convince her to let me get it?]

My second prob is that my mom says she is not going to buy me any school clothes for next year. [ I am going to be a freshman in high-school.] I really want to look stylish and fashionable next year, but how am I with no money! Also, since I am only 13 it's not like I can get a job! And I don't have any little cousins or sibs I can babysitt for money...Right now I have $30, i know, that's it...How do I raise money in 2 months since school starts in September?! Please HELP!!!

Dear Writer,

Do not go out and get pierced without your mom's permission. There may be places that will do it without parental consent (in which case, they take on the risk of being sued or shut down by angry lawyer-having parents). But that's not even the main reason. Getting pierced, when you know your mom is against it, is just a bad idea. You could end up with the piercing, but suffer weeks or even months of parental punishment and resentment. It's just not worth the anger and destruction of trust it could cause.

I know you've talked to your mom and begged and pleaded, but maybe you need to ask her in a different way. Start by doing some serious research about the piercings you want. Find out how to find a reputable piercing place that knows what they're doing, how you can prevent infections once you have it, how long it takes to heal if you take it out, etc. Then, go to your mom and share your knowledge on the subject with her. This will prove to her that you are serious, that you are aware the risks and how to take care of a piercing, and make you seem more mature about it. If you have any friends who have the piercings you want, ask how they talked to their parents about it, or even ask their moms to talk to your moms on your behalf.

But if your mom still says no, you will just have to accept her decision. You're only 13 and have a lifetime ahead of you to get piercings. When you leave home for college and live on your own as an adult, you can decide what to do for yourself. But for now, you are living under your parents roof and therefore have to respect the household rules. Don't let your craving for piercings get in the way of a good relationship with your mom. A few more years won't hurt you. Besides, if you're desperate, you can always buy clip-ons.

Now onto your money question. At age 13, you can't legally work for a store or business, but there are options for earning money. You don't have relatives who need babysitting, but maybe your friends do. Or ask your parents if any of their friends know adults with kids, who could use your babysitting services.

Another option might be doing yard work for neighbors. Many adults perform their yard work themselves, but some older people cannot because of physical difficulties, or because their schedules don't allow them the time. Pulling weeds or mowing grass is not only a good way to earn some extra cash, it's great exercise too! And every bit of money earned adds up.

Also consider dog walking. There are usually many dogs in any given neighborhood. Often times, their owners aren't able to take them for a walk every day. This is an excellent opportunity for a teenager to earn some extra spending money. By offering to walk a neighbor's dog, you can get exercise youself and earn some money at the same time. You could even team up with a friend to start a dog walking business and walk several dogs at once, for even more money-earning potential.

Use your creativity to come up with other stuff you could do to earn money. Maybe you could organize people's closets, create web pages or myspace layouts, or something else. Ask your friends to help you brainstorm too!