HOW TO TALK TO MOM

Dear Jellybean,

I am 13 and want to start wearing makeup and shaving my legs, but am nervous to ask my mom (especially because my parents are so protective). Is there an easy way to ask? Thanks!

Dear Writer,

I'm a big fan of the direct approach. So wait until a good time for your mom to talk (not when she's rushing to get out the door to work, or get dinner ready), and say, "Hey mom, there's something I really want to talk about with you, do you have five minutes?"

Then sit down with your mom and be straight-forward. You could start with something like, "I feel like I'm growing up and I want your advice about some stuff." (Moms love to give advice to their daughters, so this should hook her into the conversation).

Then say, "I'm starting to grow up, and I've noticed hair on my legs. I know I'm supposed to shave, but I don't really know how. Could you show me?" Of course, you'll want to put this into your own words, but you see what I mean about being straight-forward, and just talking about what's on your mind.

On the makeup front, you could say something like, "I'm curious about trying makeup, but I want to look natural. Maybe you could show me how to do mascara, or give me some tips?" (Btw, my personal view is, at age 13, clear lip gloss and maybe a little mascara is plenty of makeup - any more than that, and you can look weird, like you're playing grown-up. But see what your mom thinks about it.)

Remember to be polite, and let your mom talk too. Listen to what she says - and give her a chance to take in your requests and think about them too. For some moms this is easy, but for others it's hard to realize their daughter is growing up, so don't expect her to jump in and get excited about it right away. (If she does, you're lucky, so be grateful!)