PARENTS DON'T LIKE HER BOYFRIEND

Dear Jellybean,

Neither of my parents like my boyfriend. Both of them have only met him once and they say that he is trashy. My boyfriend comes from a family where his parents are divorced and he doesnt really seem to get along with them well. Ive told my parents this before. My boyfriend also doesnt do very well in school but he told me that its going to change for the better this year. I am transferring from one private school I went to for two years to a harder private high school for the remaining of my years. Both of my parents believe I should just focus on school for a while and put my social life off to the side. I really care about my boyfriend and my mom does not like him at all. She made it so I cant text him anymore or anything. And when she says something, she sticks to what she says, and doesnt give in. What should I do?
Thanks,
Romeo's Juliet

Dear Juliet,

You sound like a smart girl. Maybe it's time to try and make a deal with your mom and dad, that could work for everyone.

You say your boyfriend has promised to improve his grades. If you think he can follow through on that committment, and upgrade his behavior in other ways that would make him more "parent-friendly", then write up a "contract" for your folks. Propose a bunch of changes that your boyfriend pledges to make over, say, the next school term. These could include better grades, not getting in trouble, cleaning up his appearance, and/or whatever else you think he needs to do in order to show respect and strength of character to your parents.

In return for all of this, if he pulls it off, the contract should say that your family will give your BF a second chance. The terms of this can be anything your parents are comfortable with - such as having your boyfriend to a family dinner, including him at holiday time, or allowing you two to have a date (at home or out, with or without chaperone, as your parents see fit).

Yes, this is a lot of work on your part. And it does require your boyfriend to put in effort too. But if this relationship is important to both of you, then it's worth giving this a go. And honestly, if your BF is the guy that you believe him to be, he won't mind stepping up and becoming the respectful, higher-achieving guy that you deserve.