MOM IS OBSESSED WITH HER WEIGHT

Dear Jellybean,

Hey! I have a problem w/my mom. Everytime I pass by the kitchen my mom always assumes that i have ate something. She is obessed w/ my weight and what i eat. I cant stand her always thinking that i am overeating!!!!! My patience is running out!!! What should I do??? -Em

Dear Em,

It must be frustrating to feel like your mom is obsessed with your weight. I think it's time to talk to her about how you feel. She might think she's helping you by monitoring what you eat, and it's possible that she hasn't even considered that her behavior is hurting your feelings..

Ask your mom if she can put aside ten minutes to talk to you after school, or after dinner. Try to approach her when she's not really busy or stressed. Then get ready for your talk by planning out what you want to say. You might even want to write down a point-form list of things that you need to express to her. Try to phrase your points from your point of view, using the word "I." For example, "I feel like I am not good enough for you the way I am" or "I feel stressed and unhappy when my eating is contantly being monitored.".

Your mom might have some things to say to you too, so try and listen. Your talk will go better if you can stay calm, listen quietly, and respond without yelling. In other words, have a mature, adult conversation. But still be strong in getting your feelings across. If you like the way you look and don't think you need to watch what you eat, tell your mom that. If you would like help losing weight but need more positive reinforcement, then tell your mom that. Know what you want to say, and say it. Then you can take the next steps - whatever those might be. Good luck.