PARENTS HATE HER CLOTHES

Dear Jellybean,

I have a huge problem. My parents hate some of the things i wear and i don't understand why. My mom is more cool with some of the stuff that I wear than my dad he just flips if he sees me in something thats to low cut or to tight. I have tried to exsplain to him that those are just the clothes I feel comfortable in and I that I hate wearing baggy clothes like he wants me to wear. Every Wednesday my boyfriend comes over to my house because thats the only time I see him since we go to differnet schools now. I want to try to look sexy for him when he comes over and my dad doesn't say nothing to me while he is there but after he leaves he does nothing but yell at me and fuss because of the clothes I have on. I love my dad to death and I want to make him happy, but i still want to be able to wear what I want to wear and do what i want to do just like any other normal 14 year old. Please help me. Tell me how to make my dad understand all this.

Dear Writer,

The bad news is, your parents do have the right to control what you wear, especially if they're the one paying for your clothes! Their money, their choice. But that doesn't mean you can't have a mature conversation about it and maybe get them to compromise their rules a bit.

Your parents - especially your dad - are obviously concerned about you looking sexy and attracting the attention of boys and men, which could lead to dangerous situations. Meanwhile, you just want to look cute and probably think they're being way overprotective. Maybe there's a middle ground.

Grab some teen magazines and sit down with your folks for a talk. Flip through the pages and show them the types of outfits you think are nice, and then invite them to make their own comments on them. The key to making this work is to be really mature about it. Do not raise your voice, do not whine or accuse them of ruining your life, and do not tell them they're too old to understand. Try to stay really calm and approach this like a young adult. If you act really mature about it, they'll likely be impressed and take you more seriously.

Do know, that there is a big difference between clothes that aren't baggy, and clothes that look too provocative. When young girls dress in overly tight clothing, it can actually make them seem immature. Sophisticated teens (including well-dressed stars like Mischa Barton) who really know about style, can wear clothes that are cute and fit well, but don't go overboard showing too much skin, because that just looks trashy. Check this out while you're looking at those magazines, to see what I'm talking about. Teen Vogue is a great one for outfit ideas. It may be that your so-called "sexy" clothes, really don't flatter you as well as you think.

In the end, it may turn out that your folks just don't like your style, and you'll have to tone it down to please them. I'm sure your BF won't stop liking you, if you just dress decently. (If so, I hope I don't need to tell you he's really not worth your time!) If it means less arguing all the time, it would be so worth it to just try and make your folks happy. There are tons of totally fashionable outfits that probably wouldn't freak out your parents. So do some fashion homework and see what you can come up with. And do talk to your folks about all this, as I suggested, and see if you can't figure out something that works for everyone.