Dear Jellybean,
I have this problem with my parents, especially my mom. My mom seriously needs to lighten up. A few days ago I asked if I could have my friend over for a sleepover, and she said "No! I cannot have someone over tonight". She says i need to stop planning things last minute, and wants me to invite people over way before, instead of that day. Most mothers would say sure, I don't care, atleast thats what all my friend's moms say. This should not be some big argument between me and my parents, but it always is. Sometimes I end up in tears because of the unfairness, and wish I had better parents, which is not something I want to be thinking. I guess my question is, why does she do this, and what should I do to get her to lighten up? Please, please answer, I have no idea what I should do,
Dear Writer,
Reality check: You're over-reacting. So your mom doesn't like last-minute sleepover requests. That's her right - it's her house after all, and she's probably the one who cleans up the mess left after slumber parties, has to talk to your friend's moms on the phone to set things up, needs to clean up the house before people come over, make sure there's food enough in the fridge for your friends, etc. So why does your mom do this? Because sleepovers are a casual, fun thing for you - but can be a pain in the butt for her.
Now that you know your mom's attitude - she's okay with sleepovers, but only if they're planned in advance - you should know how to proceed. Plan your sleepovers ahead of time, so you can give your mom advance warning. It's even better to plan one and then cancel it later, if your friend isn't available, than to try to convince your mom of a last-minute arrangement.
See how a teensy bit of effort on your part can fix this whole situation? Don't fret about having better parents. I get letters from dozens of girls whose moms are actually mean or uncaring - and it doesn't sound to me like your mom is one of those at all. (She's just a bit stressed out). Appreciate the good parents you have - and learn to work with them. If you approach these problems with a calmer attitude in future, try to see things from your mom's point of view (even if you think it's warped), and look for solutions instead of just complaining about unfairness, you'll find that you can solve a lot of them yourself. Give it a try and you'll see what I mean!
