Dear Jellybean,
Recently, I've decided to convert to Wicca. However, my ENTIRE family is nothing but Christian, and they don't even know that much about Wicca. They think it's all about devil worship and stuff like that. When my mom found out that I was learning about it, she freaked out. She said that it was unacceptable and if I decided to change religion I would be forbidden at family parties: like the Christmas and Easter celebrations. After a long argument, I finally got her to calm down and she SAID that all she wanted was for me to be happy and a good person. However, every time the subject comes up, she either changes the subject or tries to "correct" the Wiccan belief with the Christian belief. After a few fruitless conversations of trying to explain things to her, I just stopped talking about it. Now, she still lets me read books on it and stuff, but I think she thinks it's just some phase I'm going through and doesn't take it seriously.
I know she said she was ok with it, but I know she has a big problem with me changing religions, and that's why she keeps hoping I'm just going through some weird phase. But I'm NOT. I'm really serious about this. I've done a lot of research on it and thought a lot about my beliefs, and I know that I do not share my family's Christian beliefs and Wicca feels way more right to me. I don't want to join a coven or anything; I just want to be able to celebrate my own holidays and rituals. I don't know how to get my mom to realize that I'm serious about this but don't want to be ostracized from the family because of my different beliefs.
-Wants to Change Religion
Dear Wants to Change Religion,
Actually, your mom is being pretty good about your change of religion. She may not be totally supportive of you, but she's not punishing you or refusing to let you have books about Wicca. You may feel bad about the way things are, but trust me, most girls get a lot worse from their folks.
Why is your mom not being 100% supportive? Probably because your folks want you to be just like them. Think about it - if you have kids someday, you probably hope they'll follow your Wiccan footsteps, right? (I know, I know, you will let them make up their own minds, but if you're like 99% of other people in this world, in your heart of hearts, you will want your kids to be just like intelligent you).
You can celebrate your holidays and rituals - but you can't expect your family to change religions and celebrate with you. After all, they're happy being the way they are. Just because you didn't get what you needed out of Christianity, don't think they're not totally happy and content with it.
Instead of looking to your family to be your "Wiccan support group", try looking for other ways to get support in following your newfound belief system. Check out Wicca websites on the web, talk to girls at your school who share your beliefs, or chat with the many Wiccan believers on the Myjellybean.com chat boards. Somewhere out there you will find your community!
