NO DATING UNTIL SHE'S 18?

Dear Jellybean,

I need some help. My parents won't let me have a boyfriend till i'm 18 years old. I say its unfair.i feel i love comes whenever it does.My heart says boyfriend. My mind thinks parents. So which should i choose.

Dear Writer,

Believe it or not, you might be able to do both! Your folks are probably worried about you having a boyfriend because of what might happen if you and a guy get alone together. (In other words, they're scared about you having sex). But they probably aren't scared of you having friendships with guys - as long as they feel like they're in control of what you're doing with these "friends."

So start slow to break down your parents' boundaries. It's possible that your mom and dad might not think of group activities with girls and boys as "dates". so that's a good place to start. Try asking them for their permission go out with a group of friends (to a movie, the mall, or even your house). If they say okay, get some people together and include the guy you like in that group. That way you can "date" your crush, sort of - and actually, the group thing will put less pressure on you and him too. It kind of works out for everyone, at least to start.

If there's already a certain guy you want to hang out with more, ask your parents if you can invite your crush (just call him your “guy friend”) to your house one day after school. This way your parents can supervise you as much as they want, so they'll feel in control. The idea is, once your parents see you and your crush are being "good" and they get to like him, they won't mind if he keeps coming over. They might even get used to the idea of him as someone who could be your boyfriend - before you're 18.

While you're doing all this, show your parents you're mature enough to handle a boyfriend (to prepare for that day you eventually want to tell them your feelings about someone) by acting as grown-up as possible. That means doing your chores, helping around the house, obeying their rules, and generally being a good lil' daughter. The more your parents see you behaving, the more they will trust you to be "good" even when they aren't around to watch you.

Whatever you do, don't start sneaking around behind their backs to date someone - especially someone you know they might disapprove of. It may seem like the only option, but you risk getting caught and losing your parents' trust entirely. (Then they could ground you or move the dating age up to 20!) So be mature about it - if you know you can't live by your parents rules, try to get around them in the ways I suggested... and if you can't, then keep having honest, grown-up conversations with them about what you need in your life, and why you can handle it. Finally, I know they are maddening, but be glad you have parents who love you enough to want to protect you. It's better than the alternative. Good luck with everything.